And you get dates how?
Hey, I went out with you TWICE and I didn’t get flowers! What, does a person have to have a penis to get flowers from you? 
Given that I tend to only give flowers to people who I’m hoping will put their penis in me… well, you do the math.
Telepathy.
If only! 
I usually give my phone number. I’m too shy to start conversation, although I can keep it going if someone gives me some rope. Thus, if the guy calls and starts talking, it is easier for me. That way, I can also (if that so happens) reject them/let them know I’m no longer interested without having to deal in person with their reaction. And if they call, at least I know they’re interested, and if I’m interested too… well, things will happen.
I guess I’m like Grouch Marx–I won’t join any club that will have me.
Gus, I’m not going to pit you for this cuz’ Lord knows if done much worse myself.
However, I do hope you realize it’s extremely disrespectful to the guy no matter what his chances were.
Why put the ball in her court?
Look, if you hit it off with a girl and she’s too afraid to give you her number/email for a date, she either doesn’t like you, has a boyfriend or has some serious trust or confidence issues you probably don’t want to deal with anyway.
Being shy is a confidence issue you don’t want to deal with?
pretty much. yes. I like girls who are somewhat fun and gregarious.
Wait, I’m lost here. I give my number to those requesting because I’m shy and afraid to call first. I trust those that are interested will call me back, and I may be able then to get over my shyness and be more gregarious.
Taking a guy’s number will be to more like “Eh… thanks?”, and I would be apprehensive/shy to know what to do next.
I’m very glad to see that I’m not alone on this! A few weekends ago, a guy at a sandwich shop that used to be one of my favorite places to eat wrote his number on the back of a receipt and placed it on the tray with my sandwich. We’ve had virtually no conversation – except maybe the day I was meeting my mother for lunch, and he pointed to her and asked “Is that your mom or your sister?” (I’m 26, my mother is 54 – I’m not sure how I was supposed to take that question.) Maybe he’s interested in my mom, and the number was meant for her? Anyway, I didn’t call or keep the number, and the incident creeped me out so bad that I’ve stopped going to that sandwich shop.
All this time I thought you were a dude.
Although ms gives really bad dating advice, I’ll come to his defense here and point out that he suggested that that was one possibility.
I’m the same way. I’ve requested a guy’s number in the past, but only before we had a nice long conversation. Asking me for my number when we’ve barely spoken (or have and it’s become clear we’re not a match) makes me think you’re not very choosy. I don’t mind being given a card if there’s some chance we’ll need to connect in the future, for business or to set you up with a friend or something.
Anyway, I prefer email. Or hell, even Facebook. Do kids even exchange numbers anymore?
I have never, ever gotten a call back from a woman who I’ve given a number to, and at this point if I was asked to provide a number I would at least insist upon an exchange. I find myself in agreement with mssmith537; if I have to nut up and risk the rejection of asking a woman out (and presumably pay the expenses on the first date, or at least offer to do so) the least she can do is offer up some minimum of trust. I don’t really care to date a girl who is terminally shy, cripplingly insecure, or expects me to cater to her every whim. I want to date women who can keep up with me or better yet challenge me.
I also like to have a number so when I get stood up (all too frequently) I can call and leave a message that goes something like, “Hey, it’s Stranger. Sorry you couldn’t make it, but I met up with this awesome brunette that looks like a cross between Rachel Weisz and Famke Janssen, and having a great discussion about Russian literature, quantum mechanics, and cryptography. Talk to you later.”
Stranger
Since anyone who stands you up probably doesn’t care anyway, what would that accomplish?
Actually, I think my advice is pretty good.
Keep in mind, society is still skewed in the expectation that the man pursues the woman. There’s a pretty good chance she will probably think you just weren’t that into her. Besides, as I said, why not take as much control of the situation as you can. There are enought variables that you can’t control.
Like most things in life, you have a much better chance getting what you want by being competant and assertive (not awkward, creepy or passive).
Guys who thrust you their number or ask for yours when there clearly isn’t any sort of connection or interest are just pathetic chumps. It’s the dating equivalent of one of those jerks handing out coupons to comedy shows in Times Square.
Also, if she’s so shy that she doesn’t want to give you her number, she is probably too shy to call you out of the blue for a date.
A transitory sense of hollow satisfaction before I go home and drown my sorrows in Bushmill’s Black Label.
So, you mean that hanging out outside her bedroom window in a trenchcoat holding a boombox with Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” blaring out is not the way to win her heart?
The man pursuing the woman is not just a societal expectation; it is to no small degree also a biological imperative. One can demand equality between the sexes in many ways but when the root emotions are involved, particularly in affaires du coeur, there is a wider divide in expectation and response than the rift between Norway and Peru.
Stranger
(Bolding mine) You’re quite prescient, aren’t you?
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train;10449211The man pursuing the woman is not just a societal expectation; it is to no small degree also a biological imperative. One can demand equality between the sexes in many ways but when the root emotions are involved, particularly in affaires du coeur, there is a wider divide in expectation and response than the rift between Norway and Peru.[/QUOTE]
So how come guys like it when you jump on them naked and hump their brains out?