This Saturday I went to my friend B’s birthday party, where I met his friend C. We only talked briefly, but I found her cute, funny, intelligent, and utterly charming. I expressed my interest to B after C left the party, and yesterday he e-mailed me with her phone number and e-mail address, both of which she had apparently volunteered for him to give to me.
All good so far.
Now—remembering, as some of you might, that I have an unfortunate tendency to vastly overthink some things and vastly underthink others, let me assume that you’ll humor me and simply ask this: e-mail or phone call? Is one, on balance, superior to the other in this situation?
I’d email first. It gives you far more time to actually think about what you want to say and on the off chance she didn’t actually volunteer her details, it’s less intrusive than a phone call. It allows you to explain how you got her phone number and ask whether it’s *ok * to call her. Trust me, avoid the nervous mumbling and fumbling for something interesting to say and send her the email first.
If the girl had given you her number personally, I’d say call, but because you got it from someone else I say email first just to make sure the interest is mutual and that she doesn’t feel cornered.
Wow, opinions are all over the place so I will give mine.
I agree with this. Calling is a bad idea only because you never know what type of mood or situation the receiver is in at the time. Email, saying you enjoyed meeting her, joe schmo said it was ok to contact you and inquire as to a good time to call.
Someone said girls LOVE phone calls. Not THIS girl. I always found them intrusive and annoying unless they are arranged. Emails however are always welcome because I can get to them when I want, and have time to plan my reply.
On reflection, I appear to be counting Book Monster’s advice twice. Nevertheless.
(And as I mentioned, she gave my friend her e-mail and phone number expressly for him to give to me, when he spoke to her about it. Which means that Book Monster, if I’m reading his/her comments correctly, might actually be on the side of calling.)
If you have to ask whether it’s more appropriate to email or call someone when inviting them on a date I’m guessing you must be a lot younger than I. Calling is definitely more appropriate. I would never, ever think of emailing a date invitation. In fact I’m shaking my head here even thinking about it. Call her!
She gave the friend an e-mail address AND a phone number, so it seems likley that she’ll be happy with either method of communication, though she might think the more personal one is better.
If you call, make sure you have something scripted in your head to say if you get the answering machine.
I don’t really think it matters. If she’s interested in you at all, she’d be happy to hear from you by either method. (Or, at least, that’s the way I’ve always felt about guys I’d be willing to go on a first date with.) If you’re shy on the phone and are concerned about things to say, are afraid of sounding nervous or don’t want to take the chance of leaving a dorky voicemail message, go with e-mail. If you want something a little more personal, or you want to have a short conversation, go with the phone call.
If you ask her out by e-mail, make sure you send her your phone number, so that she has the option of calling you.
Personally, I’d go with email, for many of the reasons stated above. It’s less intrusive, and less pressure. Also, I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t pick up calls from numbers I don’t recognize.
Is the number you have a cell phone number? If so, I say split the difference and text her.
Another vote for e-mail. She’ll appreciate the fact that you’re being extra careful to respect her privacy. The fact is, she didn’t give you her number directly, so you should send her an e-mail saying you enjoyed talking to her, have her number, and would like to call her when she’s available. That way, you don’t have to leave a voicemail, and you don’t run the risk of getting her while she’s walking in with three grocery bags, with another three out in her open trunk.
