Why Were You Such a Ball-less Wonder, My Dear Boy?

The BBQ Pit
1

While on an early morning train home from Penn Station this past Saturday, I met a nice guy. I approached him, we talked, we got along well. I commented about how tired I was & how I’d missed my first train; he offered to give me money to take a cab home from the Jamaica station while he transferred & went on to Floral Park. I told him that I couldn’t accept him paying that much money, but I thought the sentiment was very sweet.

Before we transferred, I asked for his number; he typed it into my cell phone. We didn’t get on the same car when we transferred, so that was that.

I tried to call him this afternoon, using the number he’d typed in; the motherfucking number didn’t work. It’s “not in service at this time”. That slimy dickhead.

You ball-less son of a bitch. You couldn’t just tell me you weren’t interested, huh? You didn’t even have the intelligence and/or decency to evade my request by only giving me your e-mail? You couldn’t say, “Why don’t I get yours instead?”. You couldn’t even give me some bullshit “I have a girlfriend/I’m engaged/I’m castrated/I have an intimate reationship with my mother which can’t be interfered with” excuse, huh? Even though I would never see you again anyway & thus, could never call you on your white lie.

Nope, not you, Mr. Wonderful. You had to be a mutton-felching dickhead about it & pretend to be interested to the point where you agreed to give me your phone number, only so I could find out that it’s “not in service at this time”. Perhaps you just thought it would be funny to fuck with me.

Well, my dear boy, I wasn’t fucking amused. I hope you get a permanent case of whiskey dick to accompany your lack of balls, you incomparably gigantic asshole. :mad:

Not a rant for the Hall of Fame, but I feel better. The end.

2

Don’t you wish you’d taken his money now? What a loser.

3

Or he could have typoed, easy enough to do on most cellphone’s absurdly tiny keys. Or he had a branfart and typed in a number he’d only recently had before moving last week. Or he’s a rampaging leechfelching asshole. However it is, you’ll probably never know, so I guess it comes down to a choice between associating a memory of a passing meeting with high blood pressure or not.

4

Had this happen to me more than once. Meet a guy, talk for a while, flirt a lot, get so far as rather intense (yet still public-appropriate) kisses, get a phone number…then find out the next day that it’s to someplace that’s never heard of the guy.

I hate that feeling. You know, the one where your stomach knots up and you realize that every single fucking thing he said and did the night before was a total lie. Hate it.

jayjay

5

I’m guess I’m a ball-less wonder because I’m always giving guys the wrong number. I don’t do it to hurt their feelings. Rather, it’s to save them. It’s much easier to give out the wrong number than to say, “Sorry, I don’t like you and I don’t want to like you.”

Once, I got caught. A guy on the NJ Transit train asked for my number and I gave it to him. It was a fake number but I figured I wouldn’t be seeing him again. Wrong. I saw him the following week. He had the nerve to ask for a new number, one that worked. I gave him the same number I had given the last time, thinking he would get a clue. I think he did because I didn’t see him anymore after that.

So, the moral of my story is that you shouldn’t ask folks for their number at the train station. People riding the train are all LIARS. :wink:

6

I’m going to chime in here and say that I, too, think he could have just keyed his phone number in wrong.

7

Easier for whom?

8

Easier for the both of us but mostly easier for me, the big fat ugly liar.

Happy now?

9

Hey, this is one of my favourite lines! :smiley:

10

When I get asked for my number, usually telling him I have a boyfriend is enough. For the really pushy ones, I say “sorry, I don’t have a phone.” This is especially funny when my cell phone is obviously poking out of my jeans pocket.

11

What about a guy who gives you a number. When you call it you get his answering machine, with his voice on the message, but he never calls you back?

That sucks. Well at least he did. And that’s why I wanted to call again.

12

Maybe he had forgotten to pay his phone bill and they disconnected his phone and he didn’t realize it (yes, it does happen).

13

Can somebody please tell me what the fuck a “whiskey dick” is?

I mean, other than Shayne MacGowan.

14

Maybe you could check with directory assistance and see if the number matches up with his name? At least then you would know if it was a bogus number or not.

15

I think the OP is pretty emphatic about the fact that it is not easier for the other person. I see her point. No one likes to be made to look foolish.

Not particularly, but that has little to do with this thread.

Coldfire: I believe the term “whiskey dick” is in reference to the condition of impotence when caused by the consumption of massive quanities of alcoholic beverages. Essentially, she is wishing that he never get a boner again.

16

Especially if it was his cell phone number. The cell phone company I work for is notorious for cutting people’s phones off because their bill got a “little too high”. It may very well be that his bill is “too high” and they cut it off. Try the number again in a couple of days and see what happens.

17

The crap network my mother is with actually tells you that the phone’s not in service whenever it’s turned off. No voicemail or anything. Perhaps he needs to reconsider his plan with A-1 SuperHappyPlusTelcom Enterprises and upgrade or something.

LM

18

The comment “I guess I’m a ball-less wonder” sounded like an attempt to get us to go “Oh no, Monstro! You couldn’t be!”

But you are (okay, maybe not ball-less, but ovaryless anyway). Cold, hard reality: If you give someone a false phone number on purpose, it’s no different than accepting a date with no intention of making an appearance. You may not understand this, but the realization, in the cold hard light of day when the phone number you gave either does not work or rings someone who’s never heard of you, that the person to whom you gave the phone number spent x number of hours with someone that he thought was interested but was only leading him on (yes, leading him on), even with the best intentions, is devastating.

Us sad-sacks would prefer to be told honestly that you’re not interested. Right up front. You don’t have to be rude (unless you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t know what “no” means), but you should be honest. Saves both of you from wasting time, hope and energy on something that’s going to go absolutely nowhere. To repeat my point, it hurts more to be lied to and knowing that you made a fool of yourself than it hurts to be told the truth.

End of story.

jayjay

19

In response to various posts:

featherlou: Actually, no. I wouldn’t want to take a cab from Jamaica, even if it cost someone who I thought was an asshole a bit of money. The area creeps me out a bit.

BooBoo316: We didn’t get as far as last names. I tried a reverse lookup on the number he gave me, & according to the service I used, it don’t exist. Now, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it just means that this service says it doesn’t exist. Whatever.

drastic,juanitatech,Tuckerfan, & Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho:

Yep, you’re quite right. It’s very possible that he forgot to pay his bill, but this is The Pit, & I was ticked at the time I posted. I got my irritation out, & that was that - even managed to keep my BP steady.

If I end up trying the number again & find that he did indeed give me a valid number & the phone had been disconnected, I will sit corrected.

You’re almost there; you mean it’s entirely easier for you alone. I submit that you don’t do it to hurt their feelings because you don’t think it through. And that’s not necessarily evil.

Just be clear but decent when conveying disinterest; it’s not something to hide, nor is it something to shout from the rafters. One can convey that one’s not interested in a humane manner (i.e. without screaming “FUCK no!” and running away or giving a fake number).

Then again, I can take straight-out, honest rejection from a stranger just fine, whereas some people probably can’t. If you’re constantly hounded by one person, I could maybe see giving a fake number, but probably not.

Oh well.

20

I would try the number again. I get the not in service line a lot when I call friends and there phone is turned off, or they are out of range or some other crap.