Someone found a pair of glasses in Manitouwadge, and took them to the town hall. The town staff put out the word to the regional radio station, which in turn broadcast to towns across the top of Lake Superior that a pair of glasses had been found.
Good people. 
Wowser!
Me I put 'em in a lost property box for 6 months and them donate them to this charity group that gives them to people that need glasses but can’t afford them.
Wow! Maybe thats where my mom’s glasses went. Oh wait, never mind, just remembered I found them. Now even my memory’s slipping.
Can someone read this to me? It seems I have lost my glasses.
You know, if only New York’s Mayor Bloomburg would institute a program like this…
Think of how the tourism around here would blossom.
And what if some nice old lady lost them in a whorehouse she frequents?
That would just cause frustration and embarrassment when they were recognized by her nosy biddy neighbors.
More power to her!
(However, the radio said they were found on the sidewalk outside the grocery store.)
A few years ago Mr. S and I were walking on the Lakewalk in Duluth, MN. We stopped at a park bench and found a pair of prescription glasses hanging on the back of the bench. There was no one in sight, and no nearby business where someone looking for them might think to check. I had some craft projects in my purse, so I emptied one of my baggies, put the glasses inside, and used some waxed linen thread to tie the bag to the bench where it could be easily seen. At least they were protected from the weather, and with luck the owner would come looking . . .