Two or three bars of “Butterfly Kisses” is almost enough to send me into a diabetic coma. Fortunately, that leaves me just enough time to run screaming from the room.
Well, most of my choices have been taken already, but one remains, and it’s glurgier than anything that’s been mentioned on this thread that [del]I’ve heard[/del] I want to hear:
At work so can’t find a YouTube video, but sung versions are sung in such a manner to up the glurge factor tenfold. I’m sure when they wrote and composed it the author was thinking “I’ll pump em so full of sap, they’ll have to blow their nose with a pancake!” (yes, stolen from The Simpsons)
(And should I be ashamed of the fact that several of the songs in this thread were put into my iPod willingly because I liked them enough to go there? :o)
I came here to post **“The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation” (aka “Cherokee People”) **by Paul Revere and the Raiders but Blind Man in the Bleachers is perhaps the very definition of glurgiest song.
IIRC, it was the B side to “Run, Joey, Run,” which I guess would be glurge with salt instead of sugar.
- "“Fancy” by Reba McIntyre (written by Bobbi Gentry)
- “The Living Years” by Michael & the Mechanics
- **“Seasons in the Sun” **by Terry Jacks
- “Christmas Shoes” by Bob Carlisle
- “Take the Girl” by Tim McGraw
- “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle (does he get a special award for subjecting us to this inanity?)
P.S. “In the Ghetto” by Elvis is one of my favorite songs, but I fully recognize that only Elvis could save it from a glurgy fate.
Oh and has “Tell Laura I Love Her?” been mentioned? I forget.
(The late 50s early 60s seemed to be prime glurge fodder too.)
“Coat of Many Colors” by Dolly Parton
Sad-sack tale of being poor and downtrodden - with a moral lesson at the end! (And yet, to me, the tune is damn catchy)
Three Wooden Crosses by Randy Travis. Hooker, preacher, farmer, bus crash… But, honestly, I think we need to exclude country music because it’s pretty much by definition glurge.
Wait, wait, how was this intended to be read? Because I’m having trouble seeing it as anything other than “Chuck does Cesario”.
I think that, as intended, the girl is supposed to be his daughter, who his Evil Ex has stolen away from him &c.
But yeah. Still pretty creepy.
But surprisingly less glurgy when camped up by a transvestite a la “The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert”. I would think many of the listed songs would benefit from this sort of treatment.
I came in to complain about Seasons in the Sun
But, since thats taken, i nominate Coward of the County.
and now you know the rest of the story!
CMC fnord!
No, the one about Shannon the dog who died is way glurgier than all those.
Shannon is gone I heard
She’s drifting out to sea
She always loved to swim away
Maybe she’ll find an island
With a shaded tree
Just like the one in our back yard …
I see no one has mentioned “Which Way You Goin’ Billy?” by The Poppy Family. This is the earlier Terry Jacks contribution to this thread.
Christmas songs- Scarlet Ribbons and The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot
And if you go back even further, how about The Volunteer Organist
Mill Valley by Miss Abrams and the Strawberry Point Fourth Grade Class made it into Billboard Hot 100. Mill Valley is in the San Francisco Bay Area, so it got extra airplay there. One time is too many to hear this treacle, but I endured it hundreds of times.
Little Green by Joni Mitchell.
Kinda weird that it takes ten YEARS for anyone to bring up I.O.U., by Jimmy Dean.
For a glurgy song about a dog try side B of the Seasons in the Sun 45.
Not familiar with this, so I just read the lyrics. Holy cow, it’s like a parody!