We need to include Old Tige in here
It isn’t quite thread winner - but it’s not far off
Run Joey Run By David Geddes deserves a mention here. There’s a slight bit of tongue-in-cheekiness that maybe keeps it from being quite as glurgey as some of the other songs in this thread, but… my God, it’s still terrible.
This was the song I came in here to mention. I had heard of the song title before I heard it played, assuming the title was metaphoric. Then, somewhere I heard the song on the radio and listed to the lyrics; found out it was about a woman, with a baby in the car, who skids on some ice. Does she try to regain control by, I don’t know, steering into the skid or something? No, she literally throws her hands into the air and says “Jesus, take the wheel”.