Her Japanese friend?
Irene.
Where to they work?
IHOP.
what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerous?
elephino…
why are fish so thin?
because they eat fish
an hydrogen atom walks into a bar and sits in a stool, having a beer.
soon after, another hydrogen atom enters the bar very fast, hits the bar stool of the first atom, and knocks him to the floor, and disappears out the door.
the first atom picks himself up and looks at the bartender and says ‘hey, that guy just stole my electron!’
the bartender says ‘really, are you sure?’
the atom answers ‘i’m positive!!’
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mate.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs…
…in the bushes? Russell
…on the wall? Art
…on stage? Mike
…in a wallet? Bill
** Skogcat ** wrote
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
See, the way I heard it was:
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine tools.
And as long as I’m here:
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, but who knows how they got in there!
A cursucker?
What do you call a leper in a bathtub?
Stew
Oh, great, now I’m telling jokes too…
G rated version:
What do you call a deer with no eyes and legs that’s on fire?
Still no flaming idea.
A neutron walks into a bar, orders a beer. Bartender sets it down in front of him.
“Great!” says the neutron, “How much do I owe you?”
“For you,” says the bartender, “No charge.”
A huge black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
“Wow, that’s pretty cool! Where’d you get him?” inquired the bartender.
“Africa,” the parrot replied.
What do you call two boys with no arms or legs on your window?
Curt ‘n’ Rod
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “gee, it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” The other muffin says, “AAAAAAAAH!! A talking muffin!”
Regarding the title of this thread:
Nick-nack, paddy-wack, give a dog a blow.
(orange you glad I didn’t say banana?)
I know a joke about the Jonestown Tragedy, but the punch line is too long.
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to set him up with 10 shots of his best scotch. The bartender does, and the man starts pounding them down as soon as they are poured. The bartender says “Is everything okay?”
The man gulps down the last shot and says “You would have done that, too, if you had what I have.”
The bartender says, “Oh my god, what do you have?”
The man says “50 cents”