I can’t but help but think that at 31 going on to 32…that I will be forever alone.
It’s this fucked up thing I have had for ages and I don’t understand it…God, why the fuck am I subjected to this? I want companionship just as much as the next schmoo.
Somehow I never measure up, somehow I am a fucked up person, somehow you allow the fact that complete loosers I know live happy lives, but what the fuck did I do to not deserve it?
I have always been honest, I have always showed everyone I know who I am. I have given more than my fair share of money to friends in need. I have given more than my own fair share of an ear, yet I am no longer a part of their lives…fucking A all I can do is cry. I gave them all I had to offer and it’s not enough.
God damn you God you know I am scared to share my life, but can’t you for one fucking time give me someone that I don’t cry over?
I am not asking a lot God, all I am am asking is that I find someone that loves me for me, so far you are lacking in that territory and failing me miserably.
< tears streaming down face >
FUCK YOU GOD…you can kiss my fucking ass, I am 31 who the fuck is going to want me now? HUH? Asshole! I want someone that I can have.
< please don’t respond to this, I don’t want to defend it nor do I want to fucking deal with it, I just need to address my issues as they stand >
This is my bitch cuz I know I live a privied life, but it’s not worth a fucking shit unless you can share it with someone.
< tears going full force now, I have to go >
FUCK YOU GOD