Steve Johnson fumbles what would have been a game winning touchdown and blames God for it. On Twitter.
Proof that God takes sides. 
Must be nice to have an excuse that will cover any and all situations. 
Well surely it’s just the logical consequence of all the sporting triumphs that God gets credited with isn’t it?
You know, when NFL players quit pinning their hopes on Yahweh and embrace Cthulhu, the game will get a lot more interesting. Yahweh has just been phoning it in for millennia, and doesn’t even come through with a proper smiting when it’s called for, just this subtle-dubtle plausibly-deniable influence rubbish. What a bore! Gimme the blood!
God: “Satan was betting on the Bills. Had to be done. Plus I’m all ineffable and stuff.”
I knew how God felt about the Steelers from the Eighth Commandment. But God Twitters? Now that’s a revelation.
You took the words right out of my mou–er, fingers.
It’s actually kind of refreshing to see that. God gets thanked all the time for the wins; credit where credit is due, eh?
It would be awesome for a Latino named Jesus to play just so we could hear the blame being tossed around:
“Jesus intercepted my pass.”
“Jesus made me miss the field goal.”
“Jesus tripped me up at the line of scrimage.”
There was a standup comic who did a bit about this very thing - athletes who claim God blessed them with victory, but never blamed him when they lost. He envisioned some jock in an interview saying “Well, we would have won, but Jesus made me fumble!”
Wish I could remember the comic’s name.
That’s where I got the title from. Can’t remember the comic either.
Wasn’t that Carlin?
Ah, thanks - I would never have remembered that name!
I don’t know if Jeff Stilson did it first, but its a great line from one of Bill Maher’s standup routines from his “Be More Cynical” tour, seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FZeHvJDxas
Relevant bit starts at 5:23.
update, via twitter:
Heh. I’ve been through some hard times, but I don’t remember menacing ever the deity with mangled Tom Petty lyrics.
He misspelled ya’ll? 
Hah, that reminds me of a joke I came across on the Net somewhere:
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him. I thought everyone realized by now, that God hates the Bills.
So did you. 
You put the apostrophe in the wrong place. y ’ all is correct. You broke the second word of the contraction in half.