On topic, and not really SFW image:
Maybe the OP’s Suave was the Extra-Strength Dandruff Formula.
Man I’m glad I opened this thread! I never knew how much risk I was in.
Let’s see, I’m up to…
Note to self. Please remember, do not stick your dick in the:
[ul]
[FONT=“Times New Roman”]
[li]Crazy[/li][li]Lawnmower[/li][li]Fan[/li][li]Blender[/li][li]Fax machine[/li][li]Officer’s face[/li][li]Steam engine[/li][li]Jalapano pepper[/li][li]Prell[/li][li]Automated Cow Milking (WITHOUT checking the settings correctly or without a large supply of oysters)[/li][li]Emily Dickinson poetry[/li][li](Mashed potatoes, when at that kind of party; unless it’s one of those parties)[/li][li]The Snow Queen (or pretty much any Trudy Cooper character. Trudy, on the other hand…)[/li][li]Vacuum cleaner (without Attachment 21)[sup]*[/sup][/li][li]Vat of cinnamon oil[/li][li]Tiger Balm[/li][li]Tigers[/li][li]Vindaloo,The Cat, Kryten, etc.[/li][/FONT]
[/ul]
[sup]*Check Woot daily.[/sup]
That’s just mean! (but I am laughing :)).
[Daffy southern belle upon observing such a stunt]
“Oh, I always wondered how y’all loaded those things!”
[/DSBUOSAS]
Yeah, and if you’re dating a hippy-dippy treehugger, and she wants to dodge off the hiking trail and screw in the woods, be careful what plants you use your hands to push out of the way. Poison oak doesn’t show up for hours, so it can get everywhere.
Never had it shed, but if there’s something in the shampoo that’s even slightly irritative to your skin, rubbing it in that thoroughly to a sensitive area won’t work well.
Next time, if you don’t have a rubber or plastic glove handy, stick your non-knife-wielding hand inside a plastic bag and then chop the peppers. Throw it away afterward.
Or maybe invest in a Slap-Chop. Vince says you’re gonna love his nuts, so …
Alton Brown says that bleach causes the pepper oils to form an inert salt which is then easily washed away. I can see that you’re taken care of, but if this happens again you might try a dip in straight bleach followed by a gentle soaping.
.
.
.
What? Yes, I’m female, why do you ask?
…adds Slap-Chop to the list. Looks at MsChilePepper’s name. Runs screaming from the room.
I have several unpleasant memories of bad romantic encounters after my sweetie indulged in his chilies.
I can assure you the pain is much the same for girlparts.
What physical characteristic is that? Am I missing an obvious joke?
This sounds like a good idea when your penis encounters anything or anyone at all unusual.
Do they sell special Penis Bleach? (Band name!)
Gee, and here I thought just taking a swig from the jug was objectionable.
“Milk sure is cold.”
“Yeah, deep too.”
Talk about your cereal killers.
Nothing so high-brow, I’m afraid. It was once a common sight along the highways of the US:
GOD DAMN IT
HOLY SHIT
A JALAPEÑO
BURNED MY DICK
NEXT TIME TRY
BURMA-SHAVE
I don’t suppose they take threadspotting nominations for threads with vulgarity in the title? Otherwise, I think we have a champion.
He was paraphrasing one of the many variations of the old marching song.
I don’t know but I’ve been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.
Now, I’m reading it more as a protest chant. I picture a bunch of folks holding signs and yelling outside of a Mexican restaurant…
“GOD DAMN IT!
HOLY SHIT!
A JALAPEÑO BURNED MY DICK!”
Just remember to wash it off right after and you’ll be fine.
Fail to do so and you won’t be. Soap and shampoos are alkalis, and while they feel nice and silky, they do burn.
I don’t know if this little story will help you, but I will tell it anyway.
A couple, friends of a cousin of mine, were cooking dinner. It fell upon him to chop up some piri-piri. While the stew was cooking they happened to indulge in some improvised family planning activities.
She didn’t like the sensation in her nether regions.