Goddammit holy shit a jalapeño burned my dick

[Rhythmdvl]

@Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew

He was paraphrasing one of the many variations of the old marching song.

I don’t know but I’ve been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.

Was anyone else trying to figure out the bizarre Zeppelin reference?

[Malacandra]

@pulykamell

And if you get it on your contacts, it ain’t coming off. (And getting the contact out when your eye is spasming shut because of the capsaicin is another set of interesting challenges.)

This. Ow. Fourteen years ago and I still remember the pain. And that was after washing my hands twice. :eek:

@Kimstu

You’re telling us that a pizza prepper panged his peppered pecker? If a pizza prepper pangs his peppered pecker, what’s the pack of pain relievers a peppered-peckered-pizza-prepper’d pick?

Bra-vo.

[MeanOldLady]

@pulykamell

And it’s much worse if you’ve been handling habaneros or Thai chiles. Also, it will kill the romantic mood if you happen to forget to wash your hands after handling chiles and get frisky with the SO.

Yes. Oh gods, yes. I now wash my hands thoroughly every time I’m within spitting distance of a habanero. That was two years ago, and I can still feel it.

[Mooch]

All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie.

Many thanks to QtM.

I usually remember to “hold it” with the other hand after chopping peppers, but I was in a hurry (couple of dinner-making beers).

Poor guy - his life is a series of ups and downs.

[Ferret_Herder]

@MeanOldLady

Yes. Oh gods, yes. I now wash my hands thoroughly every time I’m within spitting distance of a habanero. That was two years ago, and I can still feel it.

I’ve been fortunate enough to “only” get my eye stinging, and I still keep a box of disposable vinyl gloves under my sink, to put on for any hot pepper chopping/handling. I don’t trust my various sensitive mucous membranes to mere hand-washing! :eek:

[armedmonkey]

@Mooch

I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie.

I’m not going to post the obvious “creme filling” joke. Just not gonna do it.

[Mama_Zappa]

@Mooch

All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie.

Many …

Sounds like time to do a little lyric-rewriting:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-oreo-cookie-song-Ice-cold-milk-and-an-oreo-cookie/314435193714
Oh, Oh, ice cold milk
after jalapeño peppers
They forever go together,
What a classic combination
When a burny tingly pecker
meets an icy cold sensation
Like the one and only creamy,
bouncy, fun toy, Oh-oh-oh-oh!!

[PoorYorick]

@Shagnasty

. . . and I can’t even smell artificial cinnamon candy even today without thinking about my poor weiner.

Isn’t this the last line to Proust’s Rememberance of Things Past?

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

@Mooch

All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie.

Many thanks to QtM.

De nada.

It’s not the first time I’ve been called upon to help put out a fire down below.

[Maeglin]

@Rhythmdvl

Was anyone else trying to figure out the bizarre Zeppelin reference?

You bet. I couldn’t figure out what the hell big-legged women had to do with this.

On the other hand…

I’ve got a flamin’ dong, can’t get my fill
Glans that shines, burning red
Dreams of you all through my head

I’ll stop now.

ETA, I am impressed that the OP went to the effort of putting the tilde over the n. If my pork sword were on fire, I wouldn’t be reaching for the character map.

[Clothahump]

@Todderbob

Automated Cow Milking machine is missing from that list.

And Vacuum Cleaner…

[Clothahump]

@runner pat

So you’re one of those who needs oysters. :p:D

I never understood what the thing was about oysters. I ate a dozen the other night and only seven of them worked.

:D:D

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

@Clothahump

I never understood what the thing was about oysters. I ate a dozen the other night and only seven of them worked.

You’re not putting them on your dick then, are you? Try that.

[FE3O4ENAIL]

A man from New Mexico told me that the migrant workers who pick peppers have hand made copper tools hanging from their belts. One end has a hook to use on their zipper, and the other end a spoon like detail to scoop their penis out of their pants. With no place to wash they need to be able to answer a call of nature without touching their junk.

[wolfman]

It is also a good idea to be careful with any brand of shampoo when approaching the Cobra Commander. I’m not exactly sure how, but one time while holding and squirting(the bottle you asses)to wash off some forgotten substance with shampoo I managed to aim the stream up the urethra.

Now that is a area that is not exactly chemically hardened. It hurt like holy hell for three hours and swelled from the inside, and kept me awake all night with the ache. And peeing was excruciating for 5 days.

[Boyo_Jim]

Sounds like that time I accidentally sat on a gerbil. Bad as it was for me, I think the gerbil got the worst end of the deal.

[Typo_Knig]

@FE3O4ENAIL

A man from New Mexico told me that the migrant workers who pick peppers have hand made copper tools hanging from their belts. One end has a hook to use on their zipper, and the other end a spoon like detail to scoop their penis out of their pants. With no place to wash they need to be able to answer a call of nature without touching their junk.

Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use my spoon.

[Bryan_Ekers]

@Hal_Briston

“GOD DAMN IT!
HOLY SHIT!
A JALAPEÑO BURNED MY DICK!”

Burma-Shave.

[Kimstu]

@Bryan Ekers

Burma-Shave.

See post #55.

[Bryan_Ekers]

Huh. I didn’t even see that one.