Goddammit holy shit a jalapeño burned my dick

[BrainGlutton]

@AClockworkMelon

What physical characteristic is that? Am I missing an obvious joke?

I dunno, but I been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!

[BrainGlutton]

HE THE

@WotNot

Nothing so high-brow, I’m afraid. It was once a common sight along the highways of the US:

GOD DAMN IT

HOLY SHIT

A JALAPEÑO

BURNED MY DICK

NEXT TIME TRY

BURMA-SHAVE

The Burmese junta –
Nasty thugs!
Are dissing Ang Suu Kyii!
We’ll help her out,
Although it gets us
Into World War Three!
Burma Save!

[cochrane]

@jimknaul

Thank you. I googled this within one minute of jalapeno dick burn. No one’s dick should have to go to hell. Thank you for posting this. Milk does the trick for your burning dick. And thank you jalapeno dick burn remedy poster. God bless you.

MILK

DOES THE

TRICK

FOR

YOUR BURNING

DICK.

~ Burma Shave.

[fachverwirrt]

@Rhythmdvl

Man I’m glad I opened this thread! I never knew how much risk I was in.

Let’s see, I’m up to…

Note to self. Please remember, do not stick your dick in the:

[ul]
[FONT=“Times New Roman”]
[li]Crazy[/li][li]Lawnmower[/li][li]Fan[/li][li]Blender[/li][li]Fax machine[/li][li]Officer’s face[/li][li]Steam engine[/li][li]Jalapano pepper[/li][li]Prell[/li][li]Automated Cow Milking (WITHOUT checking the settings correctly or without a large supply of oysters)[/li][li]Emily Dickinson poetry[/li][li](Mashed potatoes, when at that kind of party; unless it’s one of those parties)[/li][li]The Snow Queen (or pretty much any Trudy Cooper character. Trudy, on the other hand…)[/li][li]Vacuum cleaner (without Attachment 21)[sup]*[/sup][/li][li]Vat of cinnamon oil[/li][li]Tiger Balm[/li][li]Tigers[/li][li]Vindaloo,The Cat, Kryten, etc.[/li][/FONT]
[/ul]
[sup]*Check Woot daily.[/sup]

I realize this is three and a half years old, but after reading the OP, I might suggest adding “Icelandic Volcano” to the list.

[3trew]

The important thing is, if you are prone to hot pepper and penis related incidents, to PROPERLY LABEL the container of yogurt you use for aftercare.

[Mangetout]

This sounds like a job for some kind of penis beaker.

[shijinn]

another one for Rhythmdvl’s list, taken from this board i think, is toothpaste.

[Boyo_Jim]

@jimknaul

Thank you. I googled this within one minute of jalapeno dick burn. No one’s dick should have to go to hell. Thank you for posting this. Milk does the trick for your burning dick. And thank you jalapeno dick burn remedy poster. God bless you.

Impressive debut post!

[Kobal2]

@Kolak_of_Twilo

Jalapeno dick burn isn’t anywhere as bad as zombie dick burn.

But it is one hell of a Mexican heavy metal band name.

[Mangetout]

I’d have thought yoghurt might work better than milk, owing to the consistency - it wouldn’t just run off - and so the soothing effect should last longer.

[lieu]

@Mangetout

I’d have thought yoghurt might work better than milk, owing to the consistency - it wouldn’t just run off - and so the soothing effect should last longer.

That makes sense but how do I benefit from “Fruit on the bottom!”

[Cheesesteak]

@lieu

That makes sense but how do I benefit from “Fruit on the bottom!”

I got an email today with just the solution you need. Apparently it’s a ‘weird trick’ of some kind.

[Mangetout]

@lieu

That makes sense but how do I benefit from “Fruit on the bottom!”

When the jalapeños work their way through your digestive system - that’s the time to put fruit on your bottom. I recommend watermelon.

[Mama_Zappa]

@Lute Skywatcher

Add toaster now as well.

And campstoves as well! (http://www. imdb .com/title/ tt2042398/).

[WordMan]

@jimknaul

Thank you. I googled this within one minute of jalapeno dick burn. No one’s dick should have to go to hell. Thank you for posting this. Milk does the trick for your burning dick. And thank you jalapeno dick burn remedy poster. God bless you.

The Straight Dope: Fighting In-your-pants; it’s taking more milk than we thought.

[SerafinaPekala]

@Rhythmdvl

Man I’m glad I opened this thread! I never knew how much risk I was in.

Let’s see, I’m up to…

Note to self. Please remember, do not stick your dick in the:

[ul]
[FONT=“Times New Roman”]
[li]Crazy[/li][li]Lawnmower[/li][li]Fan[/li][li]Blender[/li][li]Fax machine[/li][li]Officer’s face[/li][li]Steam engine[/li][li]Jalapano pepper[/li][li]Prell[/li][li]Automated Cow Milking (WITHOUT checking the settings correctly or without a large supply of oysters)[/li][li]Emily Dickinson poetry[/li][li](Mashed potatoes, when at that kind of party; unless it’s one of those parties)[/li][li]The Snow Queen (or pretty much any Trudy Cooper character. Trudy, on the other hand…)[/li][li]Vacuum cleaner (without Attachment 21)[sup]*[/sup][/li][li]Vat of cinnamon oil[/li][li]Tiger Balm[/li][li]Tigers[/li][li]Vindaloo,The Cat, Kryten, etc.[/li][/FONT]
[/ul]
[sup]*Check Woot daily.[/sup]

Did anyone mention “toaster” yet? They should.

[Kimballkid]

Post 100.

[johnpost]

@lieu

That makes sense but how do I benefit from “Fruit on the bottom!”

get it all the way in and wiggle from side to side.

[74westy]

@Rhythmdvl

Man I’m glad I opened this thread! I never knew how much risk I was in.

Let’s see, I’m up to…

Note to self. Please remember, do not stick your dick in the:

[ul]
[FONT=“Times New Roman”]
[li]Crazy[/li][li]Lawnmower[/li][li]Fan[/li][li]Blender[/li][li]Fax machine[/li][li]Officer’s face[/li][li]Steam engine[/li][li]Jalapano pepper[/li][li]Prell[/li][li]Automated Cow Milking (WITHOUT checking the settings correctly or without a large supply of oysters)[/li][li]Emily Dickinson poetry[/li][li](Mashed potatoes, when at that kind of party; unless it’s one of those parties)[/li][li]The Snow Queen (or pretty much any Trudy Cooper character. Trudy, on the other hand…)[/li][li]Vacuum cleaner (without Attachment 21)[sup]*[/sup][/li][li]Vat of cinnamon oil[/li][li]Tiger Balm[/li][li]Tigers[/li][li]Vindaloo,The Cat, Kryten, etc.[/li][/FONT]
[/ul]
[sup]*Check Woot daily.[/sup]

Hoover Dustette.

[Kimstu]

@jimknaul

Thank you. I googled this within one minute of jalapeno dick burn. No one’s dick should have to go to hell. Thank you for posting this. Milk does the trick for your burning dick. And thank you jalapeno dick burn remedy poster. God bless you.

Hello jimknaul and welcome to the Straight Dope! Glad you’re feeling better.