Goddammit, I have to Pit my brother

[Miller]

@Superdude

You know, you can criticize someone without being a cunt.

[Moderating]
Don’t call other posters cunts.

No warnng issued.
[/Moderating]

[camille]

@Mtgman

I read that differently. For Superdude it’s about the money, and understandably so if he is in such dire straits that he needs $50 to get through the week. For his elder brother, who was able to cover Superdude’s share of the funeral expenses a few months ago, the money seems like less of an issue. The issue is the harassment over the money, including what appear to be unfounded accusations of pilfering from his daughter’s college fund. There is also some long-standing issues bubbling up here from the older brother’s side it seems, c.f. " you’re always right in everything you do and everyone else is a piece of shit."

Thus it would seem that Superdude would be cutting his elder brother out of his life over the mishandling of the reimbursement of the funeral expenses, coupled with not getting an advance on the expected proceeds from selling the car/being bought out of his share if elder brother elects to keep the car.

Elder brother would be cutting Superdude out of his life for the harassment and personal attacks on his character and his parenting.

Okay. I didn’t think of asking his brother for the money as harassment, and if his brother doesn’t have an extra $50. to give Superdude to help him get through the week it sounds like he’s got money problems as well. He’s complaining about paying the bills on a house he’s living in, so apparently he was depending on his Mom’s meager Walmart income to meet his monthly expenses.

Also, I didn’t think the accusations about holding back the money for his daughter were unfounded. Yes, it’s an ugly accusation, but if it’s true then what does that say about him? And it was true; he admitted he didn’t give her the money. He couldn’t deny it, and his response when he was confronted with it was to turn it on Superdude and shut down the conversation.

If I gave money for my niece and found out my brother kept it, I don’t think it would be out of bounds to confront my brother about it. Maybe Superdude could have been more diplomatic about it, but he was talking to a brother who had already said he didn’t believe him about paying back the funeral money.

Oh, and brother didn’t bother to tell Superdude about keeping the car, and was acting like he was entitled to keep it without paying his brothers. When money is tight all around, then doing something like that is a big deal. How is it harassment for Superdude to expect his brother to either sell or pay off?

So, I don’t see anything about the brother’s attitude and reactions that put him in a good light.

We do agree that this is a toxic situation, but I don’t think an apology from Superdude will help it at all. His brother will just take it as an indication that he was right to react the way he did, and nothing will be resolved. Apologies can come later, if there is a willingness from all parties to work it out.