Going back to school in the MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

{{FairyChatInlaws}} {{anyone else what wants one}}

As my brother’s grammar school at least was called that long before your country existed, I can only assume the people who named it that on your side of the pond didn’t pay attention at theirs :stuck_out_tongue:

Overslept a bit this morning- it’s a day off, so it doesn’t really matter, but it would be nice if my sleep habits weren’t so screwy. It’s currently looking nice outside, but the forecast sez it ain’t going to last, so I’m not sure what the plan for the day is. I suspect it will involve a lot of sitting around doing not a lot, though I do need to do some washing.

And my chilli always has beans; I’m veggie, so it has no meat…

102

Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffeinatin’. YAWN ‘Tis 67 Amurrkin out and cloudy with a predicted high of 88 and maybe mostly N.O.S., or partly N.O.S. TWPTB are bein’ willy-nilly to the point of perhaps bein’ in need of medication, a change of medication, or to up the current dosage. Today is the day to procure provisions here at da cave. Not a whole lot is needed, but one of us must go. This may be a flip a coin situation unless one of us motivates and volunteers. We would make excellent hermits. Sup shall be boxed lasagna (don’t judge!), sallit, and cheesey garlic bread.

{{{Dots}}} that therapist is not good at her job IMO. Patience should be at the top of the list as a qualification. Also, I have always been led to believe there are no right or wrong answers especially in therapy. I would be inclined to register a complaint about her. Then again, I am a grumpy old man. Still she should not be allowed to get away with impatience even in group therapy.

I like beans in chili. I have had chili without beans and liked that as well. I like chili.

Now I need more caffeine and to feed rumbly tummy. Then, onward into the day! Rah.

Happy Hump Day Y’all!

103

Woke just before 5, happy that no one broke into the house overnight or set fire to the place or any of that other stuff of nightmares! :smiley: I’m guessing FCD is on the road since he told me he had a 5AM wakeup and it’s now 6-ish. I’ve finished breakfast and I’m caffeinating. When it’s light enough outside, I’ll mow. That’s as far as I’ve planned.

As for chili, don’t care if it’s got beans or no beans or green beans - I don’t eat the stuff. I don’t like the seasonings in it - just the smell puts me off. So you may all argue as you wish - I shan’t be taking sides.

Thus beginneth my day. Happy Wednesday!!

104

[quote=“BippityBoppityBoo, post:96, topic:922253, full:true”]

Speaking as a veteran of decades of therapy, it’s a major breakthrough when you can really be yourself and speak up to your therapist. Most of the time, I want to be The Perfect Client-- interesting, entertaining, revealing my problems, but artfully, nothing I think the therapist can’t handle. Like the perfect date. There is the tendency to want to take care of the therapist and protect them from The Terrible Awfulness That Is You.

The therapist is someone you want to like you and take you seriously and not reject you for all the reasons you feel the people in your life rejected you (which is one of the reasons you’re IN therapy), i.e., being a nuisance, too much trouble, boring, annoying, tiresome, etc. It can take years to build up enough trust with a therapist to let down your guard and reveal the most vulnerable parts of you. And another few years to openly get mad at them! If you can do that, my hat is off to you.

Therapy is a laboratory, a safe, enclosed, boundaried setting where, if all goes according to design, you can be all the things and act like all the things you do in your Real Life. Because of transference/countertransference, the therapist will feel things and have honest reactions (if they’ve done their own work, which many haven’t), but they won’t lash out or be hurt in the way your friends and family do. But it can be hard to take a chance and just be your honest unvarnished self to the therapist and at the therapist. You don’t have to hold back. They are literally being paid to take the heat in a way that a friend isn’t. Look at it that way.

I remember many years ago I went to (my best) therapist every other Saturday for seven years. Never had insurance, so I wrote a check every time, and I was soooo broke and could barely manage. Anyway, I got very attached to him; he was like a mother to me, seriously-- all the accepting, affirming, gentle, caring stuff my mother should have been but couldn’t be. Anyhoo, one time, a couple of years into our therapy, he pissed me off really badly and hurt my feelings. I got up and just stomped out of his office, slamming the door behind me. This was something I often did in relationships, hoping the (usually) guy would come after me and bring me back. They never did. I stewed and moped the rest of that day so mad and hurt I decided I was never going back. Then the next day, he called me to see how I was and said he was sorry he hurt me, he never intended to… it was a major breakthrough for me. It may not sound like much, but it was ginormous. Here was a man I could trust, who wouldn’t shame me for being hurt over what was probably not much, who wouldn’t accuse me of “overreacting” (major hot button for me). And no, if anyone is wondering, there was never a sexual vibe between us, although for a while I put him on a pedestal and had something of a “crush” (that’s the transference at work-- he was my rescuer, white knight). His office was in his home and his wife was always right there, she ran a natural foods catering business from their kitchen.

Anyway, the bottom line: tell the therapist right out that you need for her to be patient with your stuttering and you will remind her when she is not being patient. Or alternatively, and if you’re in the mood, tell her to go fuck herself. If you swallow your feelings, you’re not getting your money’s worth from therapy. You are also totally free to fire her. I’ve been known to walk out of the first session with a new therapist if I didn’t like them. Heck, if you got a bad haircut, would you go back to the same stylist? I think not.

:innocent:

105

You’re not making her job harder - not at all. She needs to learn some patience and, as Bippity so eloquently said, it’s absolutely okay to be pissed off at her and want to tell her to go fuck herself. And in this case, there are absolutely no wrong answers.

People are terrible sometimes, even in positions where they shouldn’t be. You’re doing good. Every single minute.

106

Morning, everybody. Wednesday is a teach-from-home day, so no stress to put on pants. There IS a faculty meeting before classes, however. Laved, shaved and semi-ready to face the day. Tango has a serious case of the zoomies this morning, so the other cats are all hiding in the office with me.

Mom was from Texas, so there are no beans in proper chili.

Have a wonderful Hump Day!

107

Happy Hump Day!

It’s going to be a beautiful sun shiny day with a high of 77.

No dog park this morning, I overslept so we skipped the park and went straight to day care.
I don’t know what is up with Ripple. The girl came out and took Echo first, usually whoever comes out takes them together but Echo is hard to handle. Ripple was upset at being left behind and he was actually quivering looking at the window waiting for somebody to come get him. Then when the girl came out to get him, he growled at her and refused to go with her.
I wonder if it’s because of his recent experience with the vet.
I’m sure once he’s in there playing with his friends he’ll be okay. If his ears are bothering him you’d never know it. The only difference is the prednisone is making him hungry and my stocky boy is getting a bit pudgy.

Echo is incredibly strong. She’s not that big and people who have taken her leash are shocked at how hard she can pull when she’s excited. I can get her to walk pretty well beside me, but if she sees a rabbit, squirrel, or another dog she’s going to try to take off. She’ll get there I guess. Ripple used to pull too, although nowhere near as hard as Echo, and now he can be trusted off leash. Unless he sees a squirrel.

Yesterday was a busy day. First the dog park, then the lawn/fence/bathroom guy came over to take some more measurements. He wanted to make sure the tub could fit up the stairs. Which maybe explains why so many houses I looked at had the main bath on the first floor and the powder room on the second. Some old houses have very narrow stairs, throw a curve in the middle and maybe a tub won’t fit. Might be why some of them have very tiny tubs as well.

My coupon for 0% interest runs out today, so I have to order the tub. If I get a smaller one, 26x52, then we need to do something with the floor and the space that will be behind the tub. If I get one slightly bigger, 30x60, then he will have to take down and rebuild the wall where the plumbing lives to accommodate the length. The current tub is 29x58. Going wider is no problem, going longer is.

I took my neighbor to two different drug stores to get his scripts, Then he went with me to the dog park in the afternoon. I wasn’t going to go but he wanted to. Glad I had him with me as I had to park over by the basketball court and it’s a bitch walking Echo that far when she is excited. I don’t know why the basketball people, and playground people, have to park in the dog park lot when there is a lot right next to the court and playground. The dog park only has 6 spaced and 2 are for handicapped. The lot for the basketball court and playground is huge. The dog park lot is the first one you come to, so I guess people grab it first.
I keep saying I am going to ask the city to put up signs saying dog park parking only. I guess I should do it. I’m not the only one bitching about it, and to make it worse, if the park people see us cutting across the grass to get to the dog park they will yell at us to stay off the grass. They’ve never yelled at me, but then I’d tell their asses off if they did.

Just for fun I looked up paint colors for Echo, Ripple, and Adam. I like Gliddens
Echo

I don’t like Gliddens
Ripple

I don’t like Behrs (well I do, just not for the bathroom)
Echo

But I do like Behrs
Ripple

There are also some colors called Adam, and even one with my name - not too fond of any of them.
I couldn’t find any in my son’s name.

I’ll eat chili with beans, I’ll eat chili without beans, I’ll eat chili with only beans. Chili is good.

Forget the being off course Doggio, I want to know what he is driving to make it from MD to ND that fast and where I can get one.
I hope FCD has a safe trip. Not much you can do about contrary parents.
Since my niece’s ex lives with my mother, he is the one taking care of her. Not that she needs much care, yet. He drives her where she needs to go, and waits for her when she goes to the doctor. He does most of the cooking and cleaning. Since he doesn’t irk and wouldn’t have a place to live, it irks well for both of them.

The worst thing about back to school is all the damn school busses are back on the road.

108

Just finished mowing - losing my phone in the process… :open_mouth:

On the street side of our lot, there’s a slope that’s a challenge to mow across since I keep slipping off the seat. Apparently in doing that, my phone worked its way out of the back pocket and on my way around to the front, it fell to the ground. I mowed the front and back yards, put the mower away, and reached for my phone, resulting in bad words being said. On my way to retrace my route, I remembered to slippy seat and ran down the hill. Luckily, my phone has a red case, so it stood out in the green grass. Crisis averted. Whew!

Now it’s time to figure out lunch, and unless SIL contacts me, I need to go watch Roxy around 2. So I guess I’m not going to paint the garage door today. Oh well…

I did print off my mail-in ballot, which I’ll fill out and take directly to the board of elections office. Why use a stamp when I can burn gasoline?? :rofl:

But first, lunch.

PS - FCD is in Jawja.

109

I learned something very valuable recently. I learned that diaper rash cream really helps if you get irritation really anywhere but especially behind your ears from wearing a mask. My kids constantly make fun of me for my butt paste, but hey - it works.

Anyway, up, have finished my coffee. Work is not fun today and will not be fun next week, either, but hopefully it’ll be funner later. I’m super stressed thanks to the french teacher saga. I reached out to some parents with the same teacher and learned that all their kids were planning to drop french asap as a result of this teacher specifically. So I’ve emailed the principal to understand our options. I hate that it has come to this. I hate that one awful person can ruin kids’ love of learning for a particular subject for several years’ worth of high school students. I don’t want to be the parent with the precious snowflake, but this situation has gone beyond incompetence and I wouldn’t be doing my job as a parent if I let it continue.

Anywho, the bright side is that a) misery loves company, so at least I feel less alone and b) I’m so stressed I’m not eating so I’ve lost 5 pounds. (Not sure if that’s actually a plus b/c the end probably does not justify the means.) Serenity now!

110

Morning all. Stayed up until nearly 1am reading, so was in bed until 9am, so day is really just getting started. Nothing much on the agenda, need to stop at the Kroger, but no soccer today. Heading for 82F and no rain, can’t do much better than that.

talky, hang in there. Confrontation is seldom good for the soul, but it is occasionally necessary and in this case sounds like right is on your side.

Sari, hope ripple settles down, probably just mad he was separated/Echo went first.

Dot, I’ve never had therapy, but I’d listen to Thel; she impresses me as someone who knows her stuff.

OK, off to Kroger and maybe a Mickey D’s stop today. All y’all take care.

111

My chili has beans, sometimes two kinds.

When Mr VOW was stationed in Germany, and The Daughter and I joined him, we lived in a building with other GI families, off-post.

Our neighbors kindly invited us to dinner. Mr VOW accepted, because he loves chili.

We sat around the table, and our hostess got up to serve. She held a hot dog bun in one hand and said, “How many hot dogs do you want?” Her other hand held a pair of tongs that she was stirring around the crockpot at the center of the table.

Dead silence.

Mr VOW and I looked at each other, then peered in the crockpot. Yep, there in the chili, we saw hot dogs swimming around…with SPAGHETTI.

I invited them over the following week for MY chili. Both Mr and Mrs Neighbor had to control themselves from eating the chili, the bowls, and the table underneath.

(I make really good chili!)

~VOW

112

I’ve lunched and just returned from a run to Food Lion. FCD is in FL. He should be at his folks’ place in a couple of hours. And I’ve got about an hour to kill before going to watch Roxy. What to do, what to do…

113

I guess it’s a bit reassuring if a surgeon’s first treatment plan is not surgery. Another round of antibiotics, then another CT scan to see if things improved.

Starting to wonder if I need to go visit Worldport in Kentucky. An incoming shipment has been stuck there for a week - tracking shows “Cleared Customs” since last Thursday.

Closing next week on my refi. Yay for more money in my pocket!

114

Waiting on the closing date on our refi. Our current mortgage has 11 years to go, but the refi is for 25 years. Even if we increase the principle to keep the 11 years payoff, we’re still ahead on the money. We talk to our finances guy in a couple of weeks and we’ll discuss the best plan at that point - pay off the mortgage or keep a much-lower payment and do something else with the extra money.

Meanwhile, FCD just got to his parents’ place. So I can relax. And SIL didn’t need me to watch Roxy. I pruned back some bushes in front of the shop, but mostly, I’m doing nothing. It’s nice. :smiley:

Salad for supper. That’s all that’s planned for the rest of today.

115

I’m itching. Don’t ask me why. I have dermagraphia, but I take medication for it. This started suddenly late last night in my legs, and now it’s all over. Ten years ago, I had terrible hives that lasted 3 weeks…hell on earth. Docs tried several meds. I tried oatmeal baths, etc. I couldn’t sit or lie on anything upholstered. Showers were torture. I wanted someone to knock me out. So far, no hives. I added another antihistamine last night, and it allowed me to get to sleep. I’m not sure what to do about it today. I’d rather have pain than itching.

wordy, you’re not being “that” parent. You’re doing what’s necessary.

Dot, a suggestion: since you have an easier time expressing yourself in writing, write down what you need the therapist to understand and hand it to her. You could email her, but in my experience, a hard copy has more of an impact.

I’m about to start cleaning out my pantry. It’s a deep, dark cupboard, and even with a flashlight, I have trouble seeing what’s in there, so who knows what I’ll find.

116

I was surprised at how quick the process was. Four or five weeks from talking with someone and getting the rates and options to closing. I was expecting it to take ages when they gave me a three month rate lock.

117

I completed my application yesterday and by the end of the day, he sent me closing documents to sign electronically. The most surprising part was that the underwriters aren’t requiring an appraisal since the refi amount is so far under the value of the house. Heck, it’s less than we paid for the house 16 years ago! I expect to hear back from him really soon. I expect the choke point will be the lawyer’s schedule.

Meanwhile, I painted the outside of the door from the kitchen to the garage. It may need a second coat - I can deal with that tomorrow. Supper has been ingested and I think I’ll assume the recline position and watch a little news till it pisses me off. :smiley: It’s been a productive day.

118

Remember all my promises yesterday that my self-assigned goal for today was to get my flu shot (and 2nd shingles shot)?

Best laid plans of mice and women…my pharmacy didn’t have the high dose flu vaccine (that someone my age and risk group should be getting), which of course they didn’t tell me until after I’d filled out the two pages of paperwork and after I had asked “this will be the high dose vaccine for the elderly, right?”. They were going to give me the less protective vaccine and not say anything I guess until I asked. When I asked to speak to a pharmacist about why and how I could get the vaccine I needed (from the pharmacy that dispenses over a thousand dollars in meds to me every month), I was told to wait at the window and someone would come over to talk to me. Ten minutes later I just walked out. No vaccine of either kind received, but at least I got to waste half an hour, scarce precious energy and come home with an endless supply of aggravation and frustration. Grrrrrr

Plus, no :lollipop::lollipop:.

So, now this becomes my job for tomorrow, on top of the job I already planned to do. I wasted a perfectly good hump day on this fiasco.

Sorry about the cranky. I know so many are dealing with real problems.

BBBoo

119

Oh, you’re in one of those states where you need real estate attorneys. Always wondered what they do for the process other than add time and costs. :rofl: We seem to get along fine without them here.

Pharmacy texted me to say they don’t have the unusual antibiotic dose the doc prescribed for me. Hopefully will be in tomorrow. They also sent another message that one of the refills that they offered and I accepted was too soon and I had to wait to December 27. Huh? Why didn’t their system know this and not offer it?

Off to the food bank to sort apples. There were only three volunteers last night. Hopefully we’ll have more hands tonight.

120

Went to the pharmacy today and directed 'Beamer on the fine art of picking up trash and recycling, followed by taking all the dishes out of his room to the kitchen. It’s amazing how many things he could “not see”. Teenagers.

Tomorrow I get my back procedure.