This morning, I slightly pissed off my boss. I said something he took the wrong way (I can see how he would have) and the shift was overstaffed, so he sent me home for the shift. He was contradicting himself, and I called him on it. I meant it to be joking and good-natured, but he didn’t take it that way. He usually does; he’s a restaurant manager and everyone is always giving everyone shit… including him. But he was in a bad mood today and thought I was complaining. I wasn’t.
Now I have to go back in a couple hours and I’m a nervous mess. I usually get along with people I work with and I’m not used to this. Should I walk in like nothing’s wrong, like nothing happened? Let sleeping dogs lie? Profusely apologize just so he can ream me out again?
I’ve been having a hard time in my personal life lately; I ended up sitting in my car and crying for a half hour after I was sent home. Perhaps I’m making a way bigger deal of it that it already is because I feel like such a failure in so many other aspects of my life.
I would apologize with an explanation (“I meant it as a joke, and I’m sorry it came out wrong,”) then let it go. It’s possible that he feels badly for overreacting while he was having a bad day, too.
Just walk in and say, “hey sorry about that joke this morning…I was totally joking…” and just make light of it.
Having spent many, many years in the restaurant business, I can say that just joking is mild…there are much more heinous things you could do in a restaurant.
Like tdn said, I’d sincerely apologize, even if it gets him riled up again. It’ll show that you’ve been thinking about it, and you’re genuinely concerned and want to fix it.
Just a piece of advice about apologizing though: exclude the word “but” from your apology. “I’m sorry, but I was only joking,” or “I apologize but I think you must’ve misunderstood me,” isn’t an apology. It’s a validation that you’ve done nothing wrong. Something along the lines of, “I’m really sorry for making that joke earlier, it was inappropriate and bad timing,” would be more effective.
My dad is one of those bosses. Everything can be honky dory, but make the wrong joke when he’s in a bad mood and you could wind up with the rest of the day off. He called you back in to work, he’s probably in a better mood by now and I’d suggest you go back and act like it didn’t even happen…I’m willing to bet that’s what he’s going to do.
Your boss should be the one apologizing. That’s a bullshit reason for sending someone away from work. He should be glad you were paying attention when he dispensed contradictory information.
Well, he didn’t call me back, per se. I was scheduled to work the dinner shift and he didn’t tell me not to come back in for it.
If nothing, it’s kickstarting a change in behavior. I’m going to be super aware of everything I do and say… which I should be when I’m feeling as depressed as I do. I don’t want to make anything worse in my life.
Either way, if he’s anything like my dad, and this happened because he was in a pissy mood, I’d just pretend like it never happened. Especially if he’s in a better mood by the time you get back.
As for him apologizing to you or it being a bad reason to send someone home or you calling him out on stuff…I’ll leave that to everyone else to discuss since it really wasn’t part of your question.
Like I said, if he’s in a better mood, and he likely is 8 hours later, you can both act like nothing happened and move on with life. If he’s not, stay out of his way and keep yourself busy.
Apologize sincerely; tell him you were only joking and didn’t mean to upset him. As a gesture of good will, give him a small, nicely wrapped token gift.
sigh. I’m guessing this is a men are from Mars thing. Let it go. Women are more likely to take something personally. Men are more likely to vent and move on. They are not related qualities but when combined are like sand in the gears of life.
A quick and sincere apology would be cover it if the boss was still mad but chances are he’s moved on. If it were a female boss I’d mandate the apology for other reasons. Women tend to be more emotional and remember everything… forever.
