Good Idea - Bad Idea...

Good idea: Monday morning, I put ingredients for chili in the slow cooker before work, whne we got home, yummy chili awaited.

Bad idea: Tuesday morning, I tossed a turkey breast and some mushroom soup with a can of mushrooms, and some broccoli and cauliflower in the cooker. When we got home, the place stunk like farts and sweaty feet! Broccoli and cauliflower should not be left to cook all day!

Good idea: Chips and salsa for a bedtime snack.

Bad Idea: Pace Hot salsa! It was so hot it made my ears ache, and I woke up at 2am with a big ball of molten lava sitting in my throat!

Good Idea:: Gee, officer, I’m glad you pulled me over. I didn’t realize I was going that fast.

Bad Idea:: What?? Get fucked, flatfoot. I never speed when I’ve been drinking.

If you can’t laugh at yourself,
make fun of other people.

Good idea: Remaining silent while he hands you the ticket.

Bad idea: Saying, “Say, you look just like the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand.”

Good Idea: Throwing out the milk when it gets lumpy.

Bad Idea: Chugging it, lumps and all, to prove to your buddies that you’re “man enough”.

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Good Idea: Telling the boss you stayed out of work because you had a cold and didn’t want to infect everyone else there.

Bad Idea: Telling the boss you stayed out of work because there was a really good football game on TV.

If there is room for doubt - doubt!

When pulled over on a lonely Mexican highway by an armed member of the Federal Judicial Police:

Good idea - Submit to his authority and politely answer all his interrogatives

Bad idea - Say “I have no respect for your corrupt institution and I shit in the putrid milk of your whore mother.”

Nice post/sig combo!


Good Idea:: No, honey, your bum doesn’t look big in those jeans.

Bad Idea:: Big in those jeans? Your butt looks big in this room!

Good Idea: Stopping to smell the roses.

Bad Idea: Stopping to feel the roses.

(from Animaniacs)
– Sylence

“The problem with reality is the lack of background music.” – Anon

Good idea: “What a nice kitty! Does she like to be touched?”

Bad idea: “What a nice kittYYOUCH!!!”

Good idea: Moving sprinkler that moves back and forth,sweeping sideways.Without turning off water.

Bad Idea:Attemting to move an all directions sprinkler, on, armed with an umbrella. It almost worked.I was bored, tried something new.

From El Mariachi Loco

Reminded me of a night when our geological field methods class was returning from a field trip and we were still ~50 miles south of the border. Our van had become separated from the convoy and a TA was driving w/~8 students when we got pulled over (11 PM, 2 lane road), more like blockaded, by a Federales car. TA stopped and immediately said: “Anybody in here fluent in Spanish?”

Some guy in the back: “Yes, I grew up in Mexico City!”

TA: “Keep your mouth shut!”

TA rolls down window as Federale walks up.

TA: “(as well as I can render…) Bune oce dye ass, cye noore!”

He waved us on…

Good Idea: Playing football with grampa.

Bad Idea: Playing football with grampa!

(Another one from animaniacs!)

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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Good Idea:: I really like that hairstyle on you, Hon.

Bad Idea:: Jesus H. Christ! Where’d you get your hair done, in a pet shop?

Good Idea: The StraightDope message board.
Bad Idea: Trolling it.

One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

Good idea: Is that your five-year-old daughter? She’s very cute.

Bad idea: Is that your five-year-old daughter? She’s looking migh-ty fiiiiine…

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective