Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fitted anyway.”
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”
The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George, say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re
rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing wether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?”
Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”
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A priest, an accountant, and an engineer had been convicted of plotting against the French government and were sent to the guillotine to be executed.
The priest’s head was placed on the block first and when the lanyard was pulled, nothing happened. Believing divine intervention to be the cause, the priest was absolved of the crime and released.
Then the guillotine was recocked, the accountant’s head placed on the block and the lanyard pulled again, and again nothing happened, so he was also released.
Then the guillotine was recocked for the third time and as the engineer was being led to the block he looked up at the mechanism holding the knife and said, “Hey, hold on a minute!, I see what’s wrong!”…
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