The bad news is now we wont be able to finish the film
The good news is that we can get Russel Crowe for the remake…
The bad news is, the Mounties are on our trail, because the robbed bank was Canadian.
The really bad news is, the Mounties always get their man.
The good news is, gay marriage is now legal in parts of Canada.
The bad news is, because marijuana is legal in some parts of Canada, the Mounties are on the trail of someone whose name they cannot remember, and want to stop for Doritos.
The good news is, the Mounties can’t remember the bad news and want more munchies.
The bad news is, Erich von Stroheim finished the guacamole, and the Mounties are ticked.
The good news is, they’re easily bought off with a jar of salsa.
The bad news is, the salsa wasn’t the type they liked.
The good news is, they can’t arrest Erich, because he’s carrying a passport from the Austrio-Hungarian Empire…
The bad news is, inside his passport he had other contraband, and is not sharing a cell with Chocolate Cake.
The good news is, Anna Kournikova thinks you’re a hottie and wants to have her way with you off the court.
The bad news is, I’m a straight female.
The good news is, her brother is even cuter…
The bad news is, no matter how cute, her brother does nothing for me.
The good news is, I’ll take care of things with Anna for you, cuz I’m just that kind of guy, willing to make sacrifices for friends.
The bad news is, when you tried to “take care of things”, you offended her brother, who’s the head of the Brighton Beach Mafia.
The good news is, Erich von Stroheim’s second cousin is head of the Kings County Militia…
The bad news is, the Kings County guys are all in jail.
The good news is, you found a place to hide …
The bad news is, it’s inside the headquarters of the Brighton Beach Mafia.
The good news is, Erich payed everyone’s bail, and they’re marching out to save you…
The bad news is, the torches they’re carrying, thinking this is “Frankenstein” remake, set fire to the shrubs in front of BBMHQ.
The good news is, you manage to escape while the BBM are scurrying around looking for fire extinguishers.
The bad news is, when they see you, they start shooting.
The good news is, Erich’s men have several 1910’s-style machine guns and tanks…
The bad news is, the guns and tanks haven’t actually been used since 1919 and have rusted up.
The good news is, the BBM couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.
The bad news is, the laws of averages say that when 50 people are firing at one target, that target is doomed.
The good news is, you’re a fugitive from the laws of averages…
The bad news is, that means every single bullet hit you …
The good news is, you’re now dead as is this thread. (I hope) 
The bad news is, you’re not dead, and neither is this thread.
The good news is, Erich marched in reinforcements from Long Island City…
The bad news is, the reinforcements include: pa-dum-bum: Chocolate Cake, Tony Dounuts, The Piranha Borthers, my parents, and many others who made this album possible. I love you all. Mwah.
The good news is: now we can continue with this thread.
Where is the :perverse enjoyment smiley:?
The bad news is, he marched them right into the river and now they’re all dead.
The good news is, corpses make great shields.
Alright Happy Scrappy, you Hero Pup, it’s you or me. Pull out our best charcoal pencil, and draw!
:Western Smiley: