The bad news is, these palmetto bugs seem to be building an espresso machine just above the ceiling.
The good news is, one of them came down to trade espresso for a cup of sugar.
The bad news is everyone heard you’re a sugar daddy
The good news is you have lots of new friends
The bad news is, these are the sorts of people who’d try to break into my house to watch “Queen Kelly”.
The good news is, I’ve rented out Radio City, and have invited all the recurring characters (including Erich von Stroheim) to the showing…
The bad news is, Chocolate Cake bought all the tickets.
(OOH YEAH!!! YOU THOUGHT HE WAS DONE, DIDN’T YOU?!?!?!?!)
The good news is, he wants to sit next to your ex.
The bad news is, the Piranha Borthers already got there.
The good news is, the sticklike alien and Chocolate Cake seem to really be hitting it off.
The bad news is, they’re hitting each other, and it’s getting messy.
The good news is, they’re wearing each other down.
The bad news is, that only makes them fight more.
The good news is, Erich von Stroheim takes control, using tactics straight out of the Austrio-Hungarian Empire…
The bad news is, we all know what happened to the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
The good news is, goulash and pastries for everyone!
The bad news is, Chocolate Cake was mistaken for a pastry…
The good news is, who am I kidding, the “bad news” is really good news…
The bad news is, Chocolate Cake was mistaken for a blood pastry, and between that and the blood goulash, the undead quotient in the area is rising rapidly… BWA HA ha ha ha…
<krak-THOOMMMM>
The good news is, torches and pichforks are on sale tonight.
The bad news is an angry (yet cheap) mob has been waiting for this sale to come pay you a visit.
The good news: Its at a Sams club and those cheap bastards arent members…yet.
The bad news is, they’re all pretending to be guests of yours.
The good news is, Spiny Norman has come in at the last moment to save us all…
The bad news is, SN has no intention of ever leaving.
The good news is, he’s got pouches full of gold coins…
The bad news is… They’ve all got chocolate in the middle.
The good news is… it’s orange flavoured chocolate made by Cadburys
The bad news is, unfortunately, it’s Cadbury’s Division of Sort of Food Products.
The good news is,we’re lining up for something you are all going to enjoy.
The bad news is, it turns out that Erich von Stroheim won’t let me show you “Queen Kelly” becuase he didn’t finish it.
The good news is, he’s going to finish it now…
The bad news is, it turns out he has a horrendous allergy to avocados, so the guacamole we brought had a terrible effect on him.
The good news is, the effect is that he’s experiencing hallucinations, and has tapped into a place of cinematic greatness and visionary genius unimagined since the heyday of Ken Russell.
The bad news is, he’s going to need a lot of money.
The good news is, Warren Buffett left his credit cards on the theater floor…
The bad news is, his mean sister Ursula won’t let us get near them.
The good news is, his nice sister Phoebe says we can have some…
The bad news is, it turns out that they were his BankAmericaCard and his Master Charge card
The good news is, Erich just robbed a bank, so we don’t need to worry about that…