The bad news is, you may die of boredom without them.
The good news is, knitting is a lot more fun than you ever dreamed.
The bad news is, you’ve accidentally knitted Diana Ross’s hari into the scarf you were making.
The good news is, it’s free publicity…
The bad news is, when you find out just what her ‘hari’ is, you almost die of embarassment.
The good news is, it’s still free publicity.
The bad news is, that free publicity has made Chocolate Cake, the Brighton Beach Mafia, the Piranha Borthers, Tony Donuts, et.al., aware of your presence, and the melee resumes.
The good news is, you’ve discovered a portal to great old cartoons, and have struck a deal with Mr. Peabody and Sherman for purchase of the Wayback Machine.
The bad news is, the style they’ve drawn you in hurts.
The good news is, all those Bullwinkle J Moose and Scooby Doo immpressions you can do finally come in handy. Roly Rit!
The other good news is, you get to hang out with The Aristocats.
The bad news is, you also have to hang around with Fritz the Cat.
The good news is, depending on what sort of a person you are, the above might not be a bad thing…
The bad news is, the above definitely isn’t a good thing.
The good news is, that also may not be a bad thing.
The bad news is, Fritz is always getting hassled.
The good news is, Fritz and his friends know of a psychedelic portal to the 60’s.
The bad news is, R. Crumb himself is gatekeeper of the portal, and if you’ve seen the movie…
The good news is, you haven’t seen the movie.
The bad news is, in a little while, you won’t need to have seen the movie.
The good news is, shortly after that, you won’t care about the movie.
The bad news is, I was just there
The good news is, I’ve seen the movie, and I might be there again
The bad news is, “the movie” might be different when you are “there” again.
The good news is, the regulars have broken back into the story, ending this quasi-existentialist nonsense…
The bad news is, you’ve got a huge honkin’ pair of knitting needles and a ball of yarn the size of a VW bug to tote along on your adventures now.
The good news is, Erich von Stroheim is going to look absolutely stunning in the “where’s waldo”-style scarf, once you finish it.
The bad news is, Chocolate Cake is peering out of the back of Tony Donuts’ head.
The good news is, Tony Donuts is wearing a touque.
The bad news is, that’s pretty pathetic good news.
The good news is, it can only get better.
The bad news is, the only thing you learned to knit was a potholder, and with that ball of yarn, you’re making one the size of Milwaukee.
The good news is, Fritz gave you some excellent brownies.
The bad new is you gave some to your mom!
The good news is the circus is in town!
The bad news is, the circus now features your mom.
The good news is, you get a discount at the concession stands.
The bad news is they haven’t changed their stock since June.
The good news is, your asshole brother-in-law isn’t coming for Christmas this year.
The bad news is, he’s coming before Christmas.
The good news is, whatever happens, he’ll be going out the door or up the flue on Christmas Eve.
The bad news is, he’ll be back at 4:00 Christmas morning, demanding entrance for him and his 14 kids, plus presents, and you’re making waffles for breakfast, right?
The good news is, he’s developed a sudden intense allergy to waffles…