The bad news is, he shows his allergy by, in the words of that great intellectual Ken Shabby, “gobbing up on the carpet”.
The good news is, you’re celebrating Christmas this year at someone else’s house…
The bad news is, it’s Chocolate Cakes house, and you are the package he want’s to open first. :eek:
The good news is, you might be able to slip some extra lithium into his figgy pudding.
The bad news is, it’s actually dilithium.
The good news is, after eating this figgy pudding, Chocolate Cake’ll be heading for orbit.
The bad news is, you are the payload specialist on the Space Shuttle flight that he’ll be in command of.
The good news is, half the real NSC (including the chair) is too busy appearing on “The Hollywood Squares” to bug you this week…
The bad news is, Charlie Weaver wants to run the shuttle, and he’s wasted.
The good news is, Paul Lynde is behaving himself and might hook up with Chocolate Cake.
The bad news is, you can imagine the products of that relationship, and it isn’t pleasant.
The good news is, you were able to trick all these people into boarding the wrong Space Shuttle…
The bad news is, they had to scrub the launch.
The good news is, they also scrubbed everyone on the launch, so the whole wacky posse is now squeaky clean.
The bad news is, we can all get dirty very quickly.
The good news is, they used scented soap and we all smell of lavender and lilac.
The bad news is, lavender and lilac make your skin get blotches.
The good news is, your skin already had blotches…
The bad news is, the old blotches don’t match the new blotches.
The good news is, camo skin is in demand.
The bad news is, you will soon find yourself on a battlefield.
The good news is, love is a battlefield.
The bad news is, you’d rather not end up in Pat Benetar videos.
The good news is, you aren’t…
The bad news is, instead of Pat Benetar, you’re in a Culture Club video, and Boy George likes how you smell.
The good news is, as BG is tumbling for ya, the Piranha Borthers break into the set, still intent on nailing your head to the floor, and you manage to escape, wearing only silver platform pumps and a fuschia boa.
The bad news is, they weren’t going to harm you, as they have a longstanding vendetta against Boy George.
The good news is, that gives you a few minutes, while Boy George’s head is nailed to the floor…
The bad news is, Rosie O’Donnell (in her evil dyke mode) was hanging with Boy George, and she blames you for his fate.
The good news is, with the cameras still rolling, she feels compelled to explain that everyone has bad days, and she always apologizes later…
The bad news is, due to all of this, the Pirahna Borthers are right next to you.
The good news is, neither of them have any nails left…
The bad news is, you have a pocket full of nails.
The really bad news is, Rosie sees your pocket full of nails, and thinks that you like her.
The good news is, during your trip through the Earth in the hole to China, you found a pair of ruby red slippers. Clicking them together three times, you’re back in bed with all of the family in Kansas, including Toto.
The bad news is, you hate “Rosanna”, and “Africa” isn’t much better.
The good news is, you have a canister of lawn chemicals…
The bad news is, the canister is empty.
The good news is you speak Vietnamese.
But the bad news is You are a fat german and the only vietnames words you dont uderstand are “underaged” “clap” and “she-male”
The good news is I bought a real rolex from a black guy on the street for a low price
The bad news is…