The bad news is, it was stolen.
The worst news is, it was Erich von Stroheim’s Rolex.
The good news is, you’ve found a place to hide…
the bad news is, you are in the winecellar of a gay bar, they are all drunk and need refilling.
The good news is I got my nose job for free
The bad news is, it was a “student” nose job by someone who was only passing the rhinoplasty course through sleeping with the professor.
The good news is, you now have several intriguing new ways to whistle.
The bad news is, the intriguing whistling sounds you’re making has attracted an admiring throng, including (natch) the Piranha Borthers.
The good news is, they found some Piranha Sisters in the throng and are now dancing cheek to cheek with their new honeys.
The bad news is, you’re accusing the Pirahna Borthers (and Sisters) of incest, which is a head-nailed-to-the-floor offense.
The good news is, Spiny Norman is a very good friend of yours…
the bad news is you think he is a good friend of yours but he only uses you to carry his stuff. And he has lots.
The good news is you have a good back.
:wally
The bad news: The septic tank has overflowed into the swimming pool.
The good news: It looks like chocolate cake.
the bad news is you swallowed some water and it doesn’t taste like chocolate cake.
the good news is you are moving to a new house next week
The bad news is, your neighbors are all the people we’ve brought up over the course of this thread.
The good news is, UncleBeer will be coming by shortly…
The bad news is Unclebeer will be reenacting the watermellon story from Master Wang-Ka.
the good news is Mandy Moore will play the part of the watermellon.
The bad news is, we forgot to get a sheet of plastic.
The good news is, nothing we wear will get stained…
The bad news is you are all naked. And you cant stop fantasizing. Heads up
The good news is nobody is watching you for the moment
The bad news is, except for the mods, who’ve been closing lotsa long-running threads over the past several weeks.
The good news is, well, they’re ain’t none. At least as regards the continued existence of this thread.