…and I bet you nobody, but NOBODY, gets this one. (MAYBE kung fu lola, as she’s exhibited interest indirectly…but I won’t say more.
I wake up at an early hour because my black colleague refuses to distribute drugs after nightfall
I enjoy driving cars with large, expensive, weaponlike wheels, rolling marijuana cigarettes, and participating in the process that gets the drug product from producer to consumer.
Pimp C, inferior person,
I proposition your female and she immediately defects to my cause
I coerce her to purchase highly potent marijuana mixed with a prescription antihistamine and motion sickness drug
Beautifully rolled marijuana-filled cigars, an extremely attractive female, you rest your eyes upon a very clean and wealthy young man
I have just come down Maine Street and opened my rear vehicular compartment,
and activated the push-button hydraulics system of my very clean and expensive automobile
We are all young men hailing from low-income housing
That is why we behave in this manner
We are attempting to lay eyes upon a sum of one million dollars,
and hoping these other young black men do not fire upon us with guns this day.
…if nobody gets this, ask me to translate so this doesn’t just dangle, forever meaningless. =)
With no current activities planned and a desire to party,
I head to the residence of my peers,
The gentlemen who work for a living.
I arrive in an impala. Model year in 1964.
They hand me a large malt-beverage which I being to consume,
combined with the drugs I took my breath became offensive.
I departed to get my lady-friend, with a desire for making whoopi
before I left a also have some name brand rum.
Arrive at her place I entreat her to leave,
however, she mentioned something less than intelligent, that left me quite vexed,
I simply could not accept the words she uttered,
so I grabbed the young wench by her poor quality hair extensions,
Again she said some things, much as you would expect her to.
cocking my hand in the manner of a street business man, I struck the wench,
Her father arose and and spoke to me with great volumn.
So forcefully swinging my right hand I rendered him unconsious.
(chorus)
Because the gentleman from this area are quite stalwart
If you speak in that manner we’ll check your ID. *
With the single purpose to be officially recognized,
don’t use my words however, I am speaking off-the-record here,
I’m not sure if all my translations are correct, and that one in particular I’m probbaly missing something.
Since mine is really easy, I’ll provide the original to anybody who doesn’t know.
[spoiler]
bored as hell and I want to get ill,
so I went to place where homeboys chill,
the fellas out there makin’ that dollar,
I pulled up in my ‘64 Impala,
they greet me with a 40 and I started drinkin,
and from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin’,
left to get my girl to rock that body,
before I left I hit the bacardi,
went to her house to get out of the pad,
dub hoe said somethin’that made me mad,
she said something that I couldn’t believe,
so I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weive,
she started talkin’ shit wouldn’t you know,
reached back like a pimp slapped the hoe,
her father jumped up and he started to shout,
so I threw a right-cross cold knocked his old ass out,
chorus
‘cause the boyz-n-the hood are always hard,
you come talkin’ that trash, we’ll pull your card,
know nothin’ in life but to be legite,
don’t quote me boy 'cause I ain’t said shit, [/spoiler]
This was the closest exerpt I could find on the web, but it isn’t right, oh well, it’s close.
I am a fan of corpulent glutes, and I cannot communicate a falsehood,
My fellow male companions cannot disagree
That when a woman enters, with a slender middle-section, and something domical close to one’s features,
One gets excited, because one recognizes that her rear end is snugly packed into her denim trousers
You have gotten my attention and I cannot turn away
Numerous carriers of the Y chromosome will extinction upon myself
I have blood in my eye, mate, and I can no longer posess sight
I am attempting to become what I should be according to my destiny
And darkies, some might say dinges, blacks, or coons are trying to appropriate my life from myself
I placed a hole in the face of one nigger because he was messing with me
My back is on the wall, but now you will all see
You should be careful of your vernacular when you include myself as a subject
I say this because I will arrive and aquire your life
Numerous members of the masculine sex, numerous, numberous, an extensive number, quite a lot of mannish fellows
Covet my death
Lord, I no longer cry
I don’t look into the sky anymore
Hold clemency for myself
Two impoverished, rural women go for a sprint outdoors.
Venture a guess as to who has returned, returned prodigally
I am that one, please let it be known to your acquaintances.
I have called a miscreation into being
Everyone rejects the presence of my true self
They request my alterego, and I am all but forgotten.
If my alterego is who they would like to see
Then their desires shall be sated
A dash of cannabis blended with some moonshine
Some Stolichnaya that will send veritable jolts of electricity
To the main pulmonary organ with more speed
Than a tremor when I get certain medical procedures performed at a medical clinic
By a medical official, I am not making his or her job easy
Because I am making the operating table quake when they are trying to complete the treatment
I am aware of your job status, ma’am
But I am alarmed to discover that the main health problem of your spouse is dangerously escalating.
And while this is happening, the censor bureau refuses to leave me alone or let me express myself in the way that I choose to.
Certain prominent members of the entertainment industry attempt to lower my self-esteem while speaking out of a humongous public venue specifically made for music television.
However, everything feels devoid of meaning when I’m not around.
*Good Lady, let us celebrate the anniversary of your birth with an alcoholic beverage, shall we?
It may not be that anniversary, but we shall celebrate regardless.
You may locate me at a private establishment
I can provide for you if you express an interest in illegal narcotics, and I prefer sexual relationships to romantic ones. If that appeals to you, embrace me.
My talents and performance have been economically beneficial, and through them I have aquired many possessions: property, automobiles, baths and gemstones. Fellow, I’ve succeeded.*
You phony, fraudulent person, where are you?
Because you have poor fighting skills, I know that you have to carry a gun.
You are still visibly excited from when you attempted to fraud your old chums
And now neither the folks in the neighborhood you grew up in nor your old pals
Have any respect for you.
And that’s why it’s time for me to beat you up.
You used to be my friend—indeed, you used to be my best friend
But now I want to punch you in the face.
This is awesome. If only I had A) a wider knowledge of rap, and B) larger vocabulary, I’d be tempted to add my own. Wolfman and gex gex’s were especially good.
My half-assed attempt: Engange in intercourse with a law enforcement agency
Arriving directly from underneath the soil
