Great quotes from minor characters

Cafe Society
1

I was re-watching Buffy season 4 and in the “Beer Bad” episode (and often unfairly maligned ep, IMHO) there was the following exchange between an unnamed character, Smart Guy #1, and the Slayer:

Smart Guy 1: “The thing that the modern-day pundits fail to realize is that all the socioeconomic and psychological problems inherent in modern society can be solved by the judicious application of way too much beer.”
Buffy: “My mother always said beer is evil.”
Smart Guy 1: “Evil, good - these are moral absolutes that predate the fermentation of malt and fine hops.”
I think that exchange is hilarious. To my knowledge the “Smart Guy 1” character doesn’t appear in any other episode, but his lines here were pure gold.

So what great lines from minor characters do you like?

2

“I’ll have what she’s having.”
– Woman in diner, When Harry Met Sally

3

Hot damn, that was the first thing I thought of.

4

“The Gov’ment do take a bite, don’t she!”
– [sub]Payroll woman, Raising Arizona[/sub]

5

From a cop in Ruthless People:

6

And a whole lot of other stuff from Dr. Strangelove.

And a whole lot of other stuff from Casablanca

From Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

7

Love that Ruthless People quote!

Characters in Coen movies could fill a whole page. Another favorite from that movie is…

“Boy, you got a panty on yore head”

8

“I sure hope that’s not a hostage…”
Die Hard, said by Duane T Johnson as Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower.

9

I can’t find it now, but there was an episode of Cheers where some unknown, never-seen-before-or-since guy informed Carla of her boyfriend’s (Eddie?) death, that had me rolling on the floor. I’m not sure if it’d do any good to look it up, though, because it was the way he delivered the lines that was so funny, maybe more than the words themselves.

10

“What the hell we supposed to do, you moron?!” Stork,* Animal House*

11

“What kind of shit is this, man?” (some random, stoned rich kid at the yacht club)

“It’s the best, man, I got it from a negro.” (Spaulding Smails)

Caddyshack (which has several other great one-liners that would fit this thread perfectly)

12

IIRC, that was a young-and-unknown Thomas Haden Church doing his best deadpan.

13

“Do you mind if we dance wif’ yo dates?” – Big Black Dude, Animal House

14

“Oh stewardess, I speak jive.”