OK, so I’m ready for some football! It’s Monday night at the firehouse, and the Bears are preparing to lose to the Vikings. Turn on ABC and for some reason, get the three assholes from ESPN. What horrible, horrible twits these three, the worst of them though, is that fucking Kornheiser. Now, I don’t watch ESPN, I’ve got better things to do with my day than catch up on the latest made-for-tv statistic. The most passes caught after two o’clock on the third sunday under a full moon in january doesn’t mean a fucking THING to me. If I EVER wanted to watch ESPN, the fact they actually PAY this nattering dipshit would keep me from it in sheer protest.
And another thing, you braying jackass, yeah, we know, the Bears are fucking awful. Just horrible. Worst team in the league, hubris, hubris, hubris, felled like the greek gods, where quarterbacks go to die, blah blah, blahdiddy blah, hows about you just call the fuckin’ game as it happens, and stuff your jibbering commentary right up your ass.
They’re certainly nothing special, and I really don’t see what Korny brings to the table. I’d rather have Theisman back.
But what I’d really like is Michaels and Madden…
AMEN brother. These guys suck worse than a 10 dollar hooker.
At least you know Madden’s actually been there.
I never ever ever ever in my wildest gin and heroin soaked, syphilitic and diphtheria induced hallucinations thought I’d mutter these words:
**
The man makes me miss Joe Theisman.**
I’m off to stick my head in a vise, pour gasoline on my balls and light the match now.
Well, that’s sort of his job. He’s not the play-by-play guy. But I agree with you, he absolutely sucks.
I like Jaws & the other guy (who’s name escapes me now), but Kornheiser must go. I hated him on PTI too.
I heard a rumor he’s leaving.
Now this is a pit rant. You’re a jockey after my own heart, OP.
He is bad, but he isn’t that bad. Seriously ESPN, what is wrong with a 2 man booth?
Thank god for Sunday night with Madden and Michaels. Makes me remember what the game is spozed to sound like.
I am astounded about how often these people are NOT talking about the play that is happening, but ignoring it to finish their irrelevant story about some nonsense.
I find I use the mute button on them as often as on commercials. If there was an option to get just the video, and the sound only from the stadium announcer, I would choose that.
At least he’s not Bryant Gumbel.
Amen, Brother. I have been saying that since I first saw him on whatever his crappy show is back in 2003. Every time he comes up in conversation, and I make my thoughts known, I am ridiculed soundly. Apparently there are a lot of people who think he is just swell.
I am just happy he went national and you get to share the pain the the DC area has long known. Be thankful you never had to listen to him do a radio interview with his buddy, John Feinstein. That was some pain.
Madden’s counterpart in the Monday Night booth is Jaworski. Jaworski has been there, and understands the modern game better than Madden.
Kornheiser, I like. PTI really was a breakthrough show, based mainly on his personality. Paved the way for the arguably better “Around the Horn”.
He has a good radio show. But, I haven’t been a huge fan of his on Monday night.
I might just like Tirico and Jaws. Or, Tirico, Jaws, and Vermeil.
Dick Vermeil is GREAT in the booth for real fans, and I don’t know why this hasn’t dawned on the suits yet.
As I much as it pains me to say it, I agree. I love Tony in general, especially on PTI, but something about his MNF commentary is off. Granted its his first gig of this type, but he’s not doing so well. But Tony K on his worst day is infinitely more listenable than John Madden- Madden is an abomination. Frank Caliendo doing Madden would be better than Madden- yet this load gets praise? Its like the proverbial elephant in the room and no one wants to say anything. We need Jerry Jones to take over SNF and get rid of the “legend” like he did with Landry. The other night Madden felt the need to tell everyone twice that the clock stops after change of possession on a punt- uh thanks John, didn’t know that.
I like Kornheiser, and if any of you even suggest that Thiesman return to the booth, or even continue breathing, I will kill a puppy.
The problem is that Kornheiser was pulled in as a third man. Not a play-by-play, and not color. But a third guy to keep things fun. The issue is that the 1 and 2 guys so totally suck, that he has nothing to play off of. And being a professional, he is trying to do something with the show, since the others never do anything.
Tony does suck, sucks hard too but at least he’s not the jabbering human social abortion that is Cris Collinsworth. Oh yes, it could be worse.
I used to despise Cris but he’s actually seemed more personable, or at least less arrogant, this year. How about in the first half, when insight actually matters, Collinsworth and Jaworski will do the commentary. For halftime entertainment, we can have Theisman and Kornheiser fighting over who gets to kill the kitten and who masturbates to it while Vermil, witnessing the conversation, cries softly in the corner. In the second half, since all the pertinent points have already been made, we can have Michaels and Madden futtering on about wallpaper for the horse trailer, cankles and next week’s can’t miss match-up.
Finding acceptable commentary is apparently waaay more difficult than one would anticipate.
You guys are missing the worst thing about Monday Night Football the reason that I only watch it on mute any more. The interviews with whatever The View reject they can drag into to sell whatever shit they’ve got. Ya Kornheiser sucks a syphilitic donkey cock but the fact they take away actual game coverage each week and sometimes for several quarters to bring in some sack of crap to sell me stuff. It’s fucking worse then Fox’s pop up ads.
I thought it was really strange last week during the Bears Thursday night game when Gumbel came right out and said he is a Bears fan. Don’t these guys even TRY to act neutral anymore? Not that I minded his bias too much, being a Bears fan myself, but shouldn’t they at least TRY during a national broadcast?
And that whole “hubris” thing was ridiculous. I’m no football expert, but I really think that hubris is the Bears’ problem.