Green Lantern Script---OH! PUCKERNUTS!

Cafe Society
1

There is a Green Lantern Movie in the works.

It promises to be worse than you can possibly imagine, worse than Batman Forever.

Great Krypton!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

http://www.iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=122

No Hal Jordan!
No Stewart or Gardner!
No Kyle Rayner!
No Alan Scott (which would be very cool, if set in WW2).

No. Not even G’nort.

This will destroy comics based films for a generation.

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

2

:eek: why would they do that? why?

I need some alone time :frowning:

3

Hey, it’s just the first script. How often do they last without rewrites before filming starts?

4

We’re discussing Hollywood, here.

The Studio Execs probably love it!
I’m gonna go shoot myself out of a cannon, now.

5

hmmm… if it picks him, what does that say about the rest of the people on the planet?

I, for one, Welcome our Coyote Eating Overlards.

6

I heard the “comedy GL” rumor a while back. I thought it was dead in the water.

7

And this one wants to extract–oh Hell, might as well do this right[ol]
[li]Extract Lard from dead Coyotes[/li][li]???[/li][li]PROFIT!![/li][/ol]

8

It takes only a mouthful of bullshit to get me to realize I am being fed it. :dubious:

IT MUST BE AN UNFUNNY PRATICAL JOKE!! :mad:
Hey!! Who changed the smilies!?

9

This is what happens when movie executives fail to realize they temselves are stupid and try to dummy a story down to what they think is the average person’s level.

10

I have to admit, I like the idea of there being an Olive Garden on Oa.

11

Puckernuts?

12

I’d relax. Remember when Tim Burton was going to direct Superman Lives and Nic Cage was supposed to star? Remember the Superman script by J J Abrams? Fortunately common sense prevailed at Warner Bros. Granted, Superman Returns wasn’t universally loved, but it wasn’t the total piece of crap Warner Bros. could have given us. Let’s hope they learned from the failure of Halle Berry’s Catwoman fiasco and the success of Batman Begins. Try to stay close to the legend and don’t do a revisionist flick, and it’ll do well.

13

Does it have a giant spider in it?

14

Yes, PUCKERNUTS!

15

Bah. That list doesn’t even have “poozer” on it.

16

Hollywood insists on not taking comic books seriously and making comedies out of them, despite overwhelming evidence that serious, dark comic book movies make tons of money, while campy ones tank. The original Superman, the first serious comic book movie in memory, was a huge success. By Superman III, they decided to abandon what had worked in the past and make a slapsticky comedy movie, because, well, that’s what comics are, right? Bombed.

Original Batman: success. Schumacher Batmans: bombs. Spider-Man: success. Mystery Men: bomb. Somehow, they just don’t see the pattern. Instead, they churn out crap like Zoom, the kiddie superhero flick with Tim Allen that just came out. According to Box Office Mojo, the special effects extravaganza opened in ninth place, despite being in over 2500 theaters, and it earned the first 0% rating I’ve seen on Rotten Tomatoes in quite a while.

17

You had me at Robert Smigel.

Of course, that synopsis doesn’t sound promising at all; but then, it was written by someone who admittedly didn’t appreciate the script.

However, as someone with a lack of respect for adult fandom of superhero comics, sci-fi, and fantasy, and yet a love for spoofs of those genres (i.e. Flaming Carrot, Futurama, Ninja Turtles), I’m looking forward to a irreverant take on the Green Lantern.

That their wielding hot IP with this project is especially exciting. GL is popular enough, it seems, to be a recognizable name. But he’s (they’re?) obscure enough for most people to have any demands or expectations about him (them?).

18

There are those who would argue that this is a good thing.

19

The original source material for Mystery Men was campy itself, though. It was from Dark Horse Comics and the humor was similar to that of other Dark Horse titles like Men In Black and TMNT.

From the Flaming Carrot website:

**They are a bizarre collection of oddball costumed adventurers, deemed unqualified for major-league superhero teams because of mediocre, uncontrollable, or nonexistent powers, behavioral problems, or the extreme public outrage at some of their shenanigans.

      "...a snappy costume and a cool name is all you need for the Mysterymen, the human cannon fodder of the war on crime. At their peak, The Mysterymen numbered about 30 (The Dirty Thirty), but it's hard to come up with an exact figure on them because of high casualty rates, the highest of any superhero team in the history of the medium."

**http://www.flamingcarrot.com/MM/history.html

So, while it may have failed at the box-office because of its campy nature, that was inherent in the original comic and may have been difficult to translate well to the screen.

20

I just love the idea of Kilowag dropping by Olive Garden for dinner (especially since I’m imagining him in his hulking purple-and-green glory)