Maybe I am crazy, but I’m trying to convince someone here that “grinding the bean(s)” is a euphemism for female masturbation. I am choosing to not google it here at work for fear of where it might bring me, so I reach out to the dope for an answer.
Am I making this up, is it local culture limited to the street I grew up on, or has anyone else heard it?
Are you sure you’re not thinking of “flicking the bean”?
Urbandictionary doesn’t have it.
A quick search on Google (at home, of course!), revealed no references to female masturbation. Even after I filtered the thousands of coffee-related sites and further filtered out tofu-making sites, the paltry few hundred sites left didn’t seem to have any references to anybody putting anything in her hoohoo.
This is probably what I was thinking!
So perhaps the verdict is that I am indeed crazy.
Just to give the story a point - I was at work this morning and heard a woman say, as she poured a cup of pantry swill, “You know, when I used to work from home and was alone every morning I always started my day by grinding my beans.”
I giggled, she looked over and asked me why. I told her, I think that means something else also. She didn’t believe.
Still sounds dirty though, right?
Anything sounds dirty if you say it right:
“Grandma’s chicken salad”.
Just because something isn’t a well-known and commonly-used term doesn’t make it a perfectly valid metaphor. Too often people get too hung up on whether or not terms, even slang terms, are “officially recognized” and ignore the fact that language is fluid and ever-changing and all that matters is that you communicate your chicken salad effectively.
I’ve heard of “grinding the corn” as a euphemism for female masturbation.
I must have combined “flicking the bean” and “grinding the corn” in my head. That makes me a little crazy I think.
You’re in the right place, then. 
It will from now on.
In keeping with the rest of the thread; that would be “Grandma’s 3-bean salad”
In one Cheers episode, Sam was upset when he found out Diane had coffee with a new lover (Frazier?) He asked her “Did you grind the beans real fine?”
Sounds like old-woman lesbian fetish porn to me.
And, not to leave water sports out, I hear playing with the man in the canoe is quite popular.
I know that always makes me a little crazy.
I just came across this funny Scottish sketch where this meaning is alluded to: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18JK7XF1ec/?mibextid=wwXIfr
The comment “Anything sounds dirty if you say it right” makes me think of the Frantics sketch “Make Up Dirty Words”.
“I have URGES in my AREAS…”
Although apparently undocumented back in 2008, recent scholarship has produced this wiktionary entry for “flick one’s bean”: flick one's bean - Wiktionary, the free dictionary , first added in 2024:
(vulgar, slang) To masturbate by manually stimulating one’s clitoris.