‘Edge of the Cliff’ By Eileen Dover.
As old as my tongue, and not quite as old as my teeth.
What do you call a pirate woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Arrrrlene.
“Tracks in the Snow” by Peter Draggen
“Antlers in the Treetops” by Whogoose D. Moose
Two disasters:
Two ships, one carrying red paint and one carrying blue paint, collided. All of the sailors were marooned.
Terrible crash downtown yesterday involving a truck carrying thesauruses. The spectators were shocked, amazed, astonished, horrified…
In the news: “A Cessna 152 training aircraft crashed into the cemetary. 253 bodies recovered so far.”
“Tiger in the Outhouse” - by Claude Balls.
My favorite joke:
Ask me if I’m an orange.
When they ask you, say
No.
Book titles:
How My hurdling Career Ended by Wan Hung Lo
How I Cured My Hemorrhoids by Phil McCracken
Whipped Cream and Other Erotic Foods by Adolf Oliver Nipples
I Am A Sex Fiend by Haywood Jablome
Surviving Without Your Genitals by Hugh Biture-Kokoff
Up the Yellow River by I. P. Freely.
Lights Out at a Boys’ Boarding School by Holden and Sharon Dix.
Under the Grandstand by Seymour Butz
40 Years in a Bordello by Lotta Cox
What did the number zero say to the number eight?
Hey, nice belt!
What is red and goes up and down?
A tomato in an elevator
How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hippopotamus
A man walks into a phychiatrist’s office clothed only in saran wrap.
The psyciatrist says:
I can clearly see you’re nuts.
What did the ghost get after listening to music too loud?
An EERIE ACHE!!!
Two teddy bears were in the little boys room, when one turns to the other and says “Hey, would you pass the toilet paper?” The other bear says:
[spoiler]What do I look like, A TYPEWRITER?!?!?[spoiler]
What’s white, creamy and falls from the sky?
THE COMING OF THE LORD!!!
Jesus walks into an inn, hands the innkeeper three nails and says:
Hey, could you PUT ME UP FOR THE NIGHT!!!
I need to stop drinking coffee.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?Phil.What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?Russel.What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a backwater?Eddy.What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in space?Anything you want, but it won’t matter. He can’t hear you. 
:eek:
You’re wearing inherited dentures??
Erm… Actually, I stole that. I think it was from Miracle on 34[sup]th[/sup] Street.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating behind a fishing boat?
Chum.
What do a pizza delivery boy and an gynecoligist have in common?
Both can smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Blame my mother for this one:
What’s the first thing you know?
Ol’ Jed’s a millionaire.
What’s grey and will kill you if it falls on you?
State Highway 1!
There’s these two goldfish in a tank, and one turns to the other and says…
So, do you know how to drive this thing?
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk!
What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?
A look!
What do you call a fly with no wings no legs AND no eyes?
A raisin!
I’ll be here all week folks, so tell your friends, try the veal - it’s lovely…
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a cow masturbating?
Beef strokin’off.