I accidentally slighted a girl a while back (I think I posted a thread about it), and since then, she’s been a total… ahem “dog”. She’s insulted me behind my back, called the girl I like an ugly whore, and called me far worse. She surpassed herself today, by emailing a mad-lib she made to all of my friends. It goes like this (name removed to protect the innocent and me):
A went to the Porn store every week to unwind
after work. He was a lonely man who spent his
weekends focking bananas around his apartment.
A wasn’t looking for love that day, but in
walked T . Immediately he was taken by its
pee green corsett and its tight penis .
Moving with the grace of Amber, T sat down
wanting to fOck a alligator penis in the corner.
His mind was racing. Perhaps A would invite it
to dinner at his place. He envisioned cooking it
some Elsies, drinking semen and dancing quickly
to his Micheal Jackson albums. He’d buy it things
every day, and they’d spend the weekends driving
around Saskamatoon in his grocery cart .
And with visions of this whirling in his head,
A slowly approached it. Nervous, he didn’t
know what to say at first. But then it came out,
Surprised, T sexed his penis and started to
“Wait!” shouted A , “I’m sorry, I just think
you’re thouroughlly . I think your penis is
really tight . And I was wondering you’d like to
ravish with me sometime?”
T turned around briefly. “Why would I want
to ravish with you?” But all A could say was
“…but I didn’t order any pizza!” .
Tristan left and A was alone once again. He’d
have to ravish his cat AGAIN tonight.
The good part, is apparently all of my friends are sticking up for me. A charming example is thus:
“grow up E. your childish attempts at humuor are neither funny nor
witty. The truly sad part of this story is the fact that you felt compelled
to send it to all of us.”
I’m so happy my friends stuck up for me.