Because it’s manipulative and all around shitty behavior. The PUA movement is a pathetic scam on the shy or inexperienced guy which will leave him with the lowest possible opinion of his “target” audience.
Try How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I’ve only read excerpts of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey, but what I’ve read is good all purpose advice for business relationships and study habits. Note these titles target “people” and not just the half of the population you wish to hook up with.
Because it’s using ‘tricks’ more so than anything. It’s acting like you have to play some sort of game in order to effectively speak to a woman. As others have said, there is no trick, because it’s not a game. We’re not just women. We’re people and we don’t appreciate when we’re not treated as such.
Asking questions in order to better get to know her, talking less and listening and asking questions more, and when you are talking, minizing irrelevant chatter about yourself and maximizing chatter about yourself that relates to her in some sort of way, is shitty and manipulative behaviour? 
How? And what should I do instead?
Because that is basically, in a nutshell, what that article says.
How do you approach a conversation with a guy? How do you approach a conversation with a friend? How do you approach a conversation with a teacher? Having conversations isn’t about manipulating people and playing your cards right. Having conversations is about being comfortable, trying to keep the other person comfortable, and exchanging ideas.
If you can’t relate to the idea of what girls are like, think of this:
A classmate of yours decides that he wants your notes from a class and he decides that he will act like your friend in order to get them. So he uses the same skills as in that article, making sure to keep the conversation on you, relating everything back to you, making it so that you like him and want to be his friend.
You find out later that he just wanted your notes and doesn’t actually give a damn about you and was just trying to manipulate you into liking him. How do you feel about him?
“People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable… because you’re like me.”
Patronizing someone by feigning interest and pretending to share qualities, likes, dislikes, experiences, etc is dishonest and manipulative. Speak to people as though they are people. There are no “tricks”. If you want to become a better person with well-rounded views, avoid any PUA tricks and stay away from those sites which teach you how to manipulate people into giving you sex.
It’s not that doing these things is shitty and manipulative in and of themselves. It’s doing these things solely because you want something from someone that’s a dick move - your motives for the behavior are important here. If you treat everyone you like this way, not just women you want to bed, because you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them, it’s fine.
Before this descends into yet another of our misogyny vs misandry threads, please allow me to state the position of the misanthropic community (yes, we constitute a community. It doesn’t mean we like each other; just that we commune.):
People tend to seek the path of least resistance, and are selfish & superficial, as you’ll find them. This includes oneself. However, you are able to improve on your own flaws in that area. You have no control over theirs. By being the best person you can be, you raise yourself to the threshold of the best person you can attract. That old dating advice cliche is true: “just work on yourself.”
“We do not know what our nature permits us to be.” – Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Treating women “properly” won’t improve your sex life. Treating them the way they want will.
I can’t recall any relationship that I have ever seen that didn’t have achieving goals as the starting point.
Excellent advice and insight.
I’ll bow out of the thread because I’m not interested in another go-round with PUA crap.
I don’t know much about women, and my social skills aren’t that great. I admire people who can fall into dates without effort. At the same time, a lot of those end up badly or go nowhere from what I’ve seen, so maybe it isn’t all great. I don’t have a very good social network, but the ones I let in are people I’d want to see more than once or twice.
I really don’t know where to find women who want to be approached by men, and my social network is pretty barren. Finding women via friends of friends, or because we share the same hobby doesn’t really work right now. I used to be able to approach random women on the street, and a surprising number actually enjoyed it. It didn’t lead anywhere (partly because I didn’t want to, but sometimes they’d tell me/show me where they lived within a minute of talking to them), but it was fun for both of us. But I feel like I’m getting too old to do that.
Ah well.
Oh lord, as soon as I saw the thread title i thought “This won’t end well”.
So in order to hasten this thread to it’s ultimate end, I would provide the following advice for treating women right.
- Use a clean rag for the chloroform.
- Silk or cotton rope not nylon
Well if there is one thing I’ve learned from reading threads here about women, it’s that I shouldn’t feel ashamed or look away when I see a woman’s boobs. I should stare, 'cause she wants me to. Awesome. Thanks SDMB. 
Alright you don’t gotta rip my head off. Just seeing if anybody had any pointers.
No one was ripping your head off. Just offering some pretty sage (if blunt at times) advice. Basically, don’t try so hard. Be natural and treat her like a person and not a potential bed-mate.
When I met the man who is currently my husband he was short, not wealthy, average looks, came from a family of no influence, and walked with a bad limp yet he had several girls at any one time competing for his attention.
You are correct that personality and demeanor count for a lot, and in many ways they are the most important thing. Many women in this thread have told you the “secret” to finding the “correct” demeanor to maximize your chances of having a relationship with a woman. You continue to dismiss it.
Here it is again:
TREAT WOMEN LIKE THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS. PEOPLE, JUST AS YOU ARE.
He treats me like a person of equal worth to himself, whose opinions, likes, dislikes, and interests are just as valid as his, he’s honest, he’s trustworthy and he treat me like I’m a fellow human being.
All the appearance/money/other stuff is nice, but frankly anyone who lives long enough will end up wrinkled, bald, and toothless so in the end it’s really personality that will either keep you together or drive you apart.
I am still unclear on the discussion we were having.
So my question is, should I just continue to post in this thread in order to resolve that conversation I was having about PUA’s and talking to women, or should I open a new thread in order to avoid further hijacking?
By the way, thanks for the input so far.
He’s my friend. He was my friend first and “best friend” is his primary designation. He’s also my partner, husband, and the father of my children.
Not sure what conversation you’d have. PUAs in general treat women like some sort of big mysterious game that you have to know the right tricks to ‘win’. They may occasionally have good advice, like to not talk about yourself constantly and show a genuine interest in her conversation. But in general, they’re not a good source of advice.
Don’t be an asshole guy, but don’t be a pushover, either. There’s a meme around these days about how the woman is always right; that’s bullshit. Women are just human beings, and they are right and wrong about the same amount as men are. If the woman you are dating has bought into the woman are always right meme, move on before it’s too late!