Guidelines for treating women right (for the single guy)

If you want to accomplish anything in life you need structure, and principles or laws to abide by. In many cases, if you follow the guidelines that are set out, you’re going to achieve the goals at the end.

I follow a lot of the threads here on board that deals with the interaction between men and women. Let me say, I have learned a TON. There is so much going on in the life of a woman that I was completely unaware of.

I also notice that when this subject gets brought up there’s a lot of arguing about what’s right and wrong. In the most recent thread, guys and creepiness, there was much dispute over pepper spray. The men felt offended that they were being treated as potential threats while the women were claiming that they have no other choice and must protect themselves, even if it meant feelings got hurt. IMO, they both had valid points but the bickering never ceased.

There are countless examples like this. Although it’s good to discuss these issues in depth, what I think missing from the conversation a lot of times is working towards a solution.

So, I want to hear some hard and fast rules to treating women right. What are some things you should do? What are somethings you shouldn’t do?

I guess I’ll start.

  • Look a woman in the eye. This is easy as it goes for pretty much people in general.
  • Learn her name and remember it. I cannot say how many times a cute girl has told me her name and it has gone in one ear and out the other. So many missed opportunities because of that.
  • Find out something personal about her. Ex: job, school, music, hobbies, etc…
  • Get her phone number. If you meet somebody and you want to see them again, you’re going to need her number.

I’ll admit, those are easy ones. But, if I knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be making this thread.

I guess I might as well be the first to say it… Overall, the way to treat a woman right is to treat her primarily not as a woman but as a person. Treat people the way you would like them to treat you. The rules are pretty much the same regardless of gender.

I’m assuming that by “treat a woman right” you mean to treat her in a morally proper fashion rather than to treat her in a way that will get you what you want from her.

Approaching interactions with women with the aim of achieving goals doesn’t strike me as a great way to start out.

Ok, bear with me. I agree that you should treat a woman just the same as you would anybody else. The golden rule. It makes sense.

Crotalus, it depends on the goal. If I meet a girl I like, and my goal is to treat her the best I can, I don’t see the problem in that.

It really can’t be denied that some men have no trouble securing dates while others are permanently single. Traits like height, good looks, money, or family may all play a role but their personalities and general demeanor are huge aspects too.

Basically, if you’re a man who is relatively successful with women – what is your advice? And, if your a woman who is satisfied with your man, what is it that he does for you?

Oh, I don’t know about that.

More often than not she’s standing there alone, minding her own business. I walk up, say hello. Ask about her day. We chit-chat about the weather. I try to say something funny. She laughs. Pretty soon she’s asking me for my phone number (I rarely have my card). In the end I achieve my goals of getting my groceries.

He listens. He’s either interested or good at faking it. He laughs at my jokes. He challenges my bullshit when I’m spouting bullshit and acknowledges I’m right when I’m right.

In other words, he treats me like he likes and respects me in addition to loving me. I’m not just someone he needs for sex but who is otherwise is extraneous. And I like and respect and love him, too. He’s a great person.

Put your pinky in her butt.

Works every time.

For anything.

“Learn her name”!? Is this performance art?

In case its not, Protip: treat women like individuals, rather than a uniform mass of robots who dispense sex when you enter the correct code, and you will go far.

My advice is to quit over-thinking things, just relax and have fun. Also, don’t overly invest yourself in any particular person, if they are into you, you’ll know it.

Other than that just basic politeness and manners is all it takes, but I would suggest you don’t deviate too much from your normal self or you’ll disappoint her later when you start being yourself.

Give that bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.

Don’t lie. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t lead her on if you don’t see a relationship working out. If you want to end a relationship, don’t do it by ignoring her and hoping she’ll go away.


Relax, stay comfortable. The “trying really hard to impress” mode is weird and really uncomfortable.

Well, first, lay your coat over the mud puddle before you carry her across. Then ask if she’d like to stop by the Five and Dime for a malted before you see the talkies. Don’t challenge her with topics such as ethics, politics, or finance; tailor your conversation to her interests and areas of expertise. Discuss the rising costs of flour and eggs, for instance. Be sure and compliment her apron!
Are you kidding us here? Treat women as you would any other human being. Your assumption diminishes others by presuming that women require special treatment in order to persuade them to meet your needs.

Separate elevators for males and females?

Aww, you’re cute.


I was reading a great article on talking to women and it had some pretty good pointers.

It’s basic, but it points out the very common mistakes men make when talking to women.

Basically, it’s talking too much.

It tells you how to listen and pay attention to the other person and ask questions about her. When you’re talking, it says, you want to try to make most of your talking about how it is similar or how it connects to her experiences and you want to minimize blabber about yourself.

Essentially, it teaches you how to have an effective conversation with a girl, and I learned quite a bit that I wasn’t even aware of before I read that article.

Also, it does also say this (in case any of you are feeling a little depressed that you can’t talk about yourself):

Disclaimer: I don’t know if it actually is good; I just think it is.

Ignore things that suggest that you need to “play your cards right.” Be a person other people want to be around. That’s it.

Bigger disclaimer: this “advice” is from a deplorable pick-up artist website called So Suave.

Well this was actually a site that a previous Doper in a thread from 2009 (I sometimes search old threads) recommended.

Since I am admittedly quite naive and ignorant in this area, I thought I’d ask, why doesn’t this “advice” work?

Could someone point me in a better dirrection here?