[Austin Powers]Margaret Thatcher on a cold day, Margaret Thatcher on a cold day[/Austin Powers]
If it’s a girl doing this to you…
that hot girl you’re imagining–or staring at–just think of her grunting, struggling, to squeeze out the oiliest nasty turd she’s had to expel in the last year…
otherwise substitute your particular object of fantasy
will work for 98% of the folks and will BACKFIRE for 2% 
(pardon the pun)
I tried threatening it with a gun, but that just riled it up and it made it want to fight.
Think of Phyllis Diller waiting for you in bed. :eek:
This one makes for a very amusing mental image.
I just think of Liza Minelli. Diamond cutter? Blue veiner? Doesn’t matter. All I have to do is flash on Liza and it is flaccid city.
what if i’m into scat or coprophagia? that would make it worse!
Makes you part of that 2% I mentioned.
Doesn’t one calm it by rubbing it? 
Oops, I posted in your other thread but I meant to post in this one. I’ll repeat myself.
My advice for unboning a boner: clamp down hard on the pubococcygeus muscle for 5-10 seconds, then relax . Repeat as necessary. Eventually you’ll tire Pete out and he’ll go back to sleep. See below for more information on kegel exercises for men.
(links possibly NSFW)
Or combine the two.