inspired by my earlier boner thread.
how do you guys get the snake to recoil? I have found no correct way. Please advise
oops, i mean inspired by http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=337319! :wally
In just a few years, it won’t be a problem. Trust me.
23 x 67 = (20 + 3) * (70 - 3) = 1400 + 210 - 60 - 9 = 1400 + 150 - 9 = 1550 - 9 = 1541.
42 * 109 = (40 + 2) * (100 + 9) = 4000 + 200 + 360 + 18 = 4560 + 18 = 4578
IIRC Batman survived King Tut’s plinky planky pebble torture by reciting multiplication tables in his head, backwards.
Also, what priceguy said.
Think of really unattractive women you know, or of a sad/scary movie.
I urinate frequently. Maybe I am a screw ball, but if I get backed up even a little bit, I’m in trouble (well, 'round the office anyway)…seems to trigger boner-itis.
Lots of sex and masturbation at home helps, too.
The extra pressure demands extra muscle control, resulting in more blood going to the area?
/WAG
“Oozing with pus”
repeat the above phrase as needed
I thought that was what the Nude pictures of Bea Arthur were for?
Weren’t you issued them in Sex Ed?
The old high school dilemma. You’re sporting wood and the teacher calls you to the blackboard.
Wack it with your textbook and picture your grandmother naked on the toilet.*
It’ll be fine by the time you reach the board.
*I think I read this somewhere, or heard it from a comedian, but I can’t remember who or when.
I think it was an episode of Roseanne…the son is having ‘problems’ and the whole family is arguing over what to do, until his dad tells him to put a book in front of it. End of problem.
I stroke it gently. That usually settles the big guy right down. 
you too! whenever i hold my pee 5 mins too long it’s pipe laying time! jerking it helps a lot but what if my keyboard gets sticky in the office?
I try and ignore it - it’s the same as getting to sleep or breathing automatically - you can’t do it if you think about.
Lenny Dykstra taking batting practice.
George
Oh, it just might. I had this conversation with my 65-year-old brother a couple of years ago, and he still has the problem from time to time.
I’ve always found that thinking of the smell of a restaurant dumpster has worked very well.
I’ve worked invmany a restaurant. Depending on the time of day, and when it was last emptied, it could smell quite… horiffic
Stroke gently. Repeat until no longer necessary.
If you’re ever tempted to calm a swollen, throbbing, tumescent…um…what was the question again?
Oh yah. Just remember that the day will come when it becomes harder to…well…become harder. I know. I’ve dated them. (yay, younger men!)