Gywneth's dress at the Oscars?

Yeah, as far as I could tell, she was wearing a dress topped with a gauze band which seemed to scream: “These are my breasts! Stare at my nipples! I want to be this year’s J.Lo., dominating all of the post-oscar talk!”

Unfortunately, she was defeated in her quest for breast glory (or infamy) by Gwinneth’s atrocity, which was much more opaque, though disasterously fitting.

Halle Berry’s gown, on the other hand, was sheer, gorgeous, and non-nipplifying.

I don’t think it’s the fact that breasts are vulgar, I think it’s that sometimes, there is such a thing as showing “TOO MUCH.” It can ruin the effect of an outfit. You want a hint here, a glimpse there. Subtly, people. Leave something to the imagination. Leave 'em panting for more.

And I don’t think Gwyneth’s main problem was that her breasts were on full view. I think it was, that her dress was UGLY. The top part, even if she had something under it, was hideous. It didn’t even go with that skirt. Her hair, while it MIGHT have looked nice, did not match and her make up was attrocious. She looked sloppy, unkempt and dirty.

Sally Kirkland is Sally Kirkland. She ALWAYS looks bad. That’s what she does. It’s the same thing with Cher-why do people bother picking on Cher-she does it on purpose.

And I still want Kate’s dress. Kate rocks. 'Nuff said.

“Oscar fashion” is an event unto itself. It is in no way comparable to criticizing what people wear in real life. In fact, Oscar fashion seems to have become even more newsworthy than the Oscars themselves.

Anyone who walks down the red carpet knows that they will be judged. They know that their choices will be endlessly discussed. And they take advantage of it. And the designers take advantage of it. It’s free publicity!

And if an actress doesn’t want her fashion choices (or her nipples) to be discussed, she’s free to wear a plain gown.

In other words, these actresses are deliberately inviting our comments, and we are more than happy to oblige.

My picks for best dressed: Halle Berry and Kate Winslet. Normally, I don’t like the sheer dresses, but Halle Berry sure pulled it off. And the color was stunning. I really liked the flowery thing on Kate Winslet’s dress. It added interest without gooping things up. And both of them had good hair, good makeup, and minimal jewelry. Brava!

Worst dressed (other than Gwyneth and Cameron): Jennifer Connelly. What the hell was that? Didn’t fit. Color sucked. Weird scarf. Harsh hair… And I’ll throw in a worst-dressed vote for Jodi Foster, too. It’s not that the dress itself was so bad. I just didn’t think it suited her.

Can’t decide: Nicole Kidman. Did she look lovely, or did she look like a Venetian blind. I just can’t make up my mind.

As for Cameron Diaz’s hair: I just assumed she’d been experimenting with “hair gel” again.

KellyM : Oops. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt by assuming ignorance rather than the deliberate use of such an offensive term. My bad, although ignorance is looking better all the time.

Green Bean : Exactly. Gwyneth had to know her dress would invite comments.

OTOH, I just thought it was cool to see ole Jodi in a dress for a change. I can’t remember the dress, but I do remember thinking I hadn’t seen her in one in a while.

I don’t consider it any more offensive than the Academy’s hypocritical attitude toward persons with disabilities. You may not have heard that the Kodak Theatre is inaccessible to the handicapped. It’s perfectly all right to make a movie about being handicapped, but if you actually are handicapped, go away, we don’t want to see you.