Haiku Madness

To describe Sam K
is quite hard; to me he’s just
a four letter word

A four letter word
like butt, crud, peck, or lids should
Not be in haiku

Not be in haiku
Unless it makes seventeen
Syllables total

Syllables total
the building blocks of speech. Yay,
rah, go syllables!

Rah, go Syllables!
I root for Lexicon U.
To win the big game

To win the big game
make sure you’re not Collingwood
everyone hates you.

Everyone hates you?
Why sir, you’re not paranoid,
you’re just an asshole.

you’re just an asshole
who does not know anything:
an ignoranus

an ignoranus
like Ignatuis J Riley
Confederate Dunce

Confederate Dunce
my most favorite novel
(that and O. Meany)

(that and O. Meany)
Does John Irving get plot lines
From smoking good grass?

From smoking good grass
I get strange thoughts, the munchies,
and the urge for sex.

And the urge for sex
is gone since I saw naked
pics of Roseanne Barr

pics of Roseanne Barr
if I rightly understand
are now worth peanuts

are now worth peanuts
which, you may know, ain’t chump change
PB Costs Rising

PB costs rising
plain bread, pink batts, poor bastards
every one of us

Every one of us
Making haiku in this thread
Have Straight Dope accounts.

Have Straight Dope accounts
to try some socks on for size
uber ban freak-out

uber ban freak-out?
not me. I hadn’t a clue
ignorance was bliss

Ignorance was bliss
till I got gonorrhea
I wish I had known