My chocolate cake
is hidden in the closet.
Guests get lime Jell-O.
Guests get lime Jell-O
if they bring Miracle Whip
–yecch!–to my potluck.
“Yecch??” To my potluck??
People come from miles around
For my poached pig snout.
For my poached pig snout,
A cool chardonnay, please sir.
No! Whiskey chaser!
No! Whiskey chaser!
A chunky vomit river,
I did then regret
I did then regret
That seventeenth White Castle
Sixteen was enough
Sixteen was enough
Isn’t that the legal age
To consent to sex?
To consent to sex?
I don’t need any consent.
Go on, take me now.
Go on, take me now.
To the heavens and beyond…
But feed me pie first.
But feed me pie first.
Chicken pot, chicken pot pie.
Just Shoot Me flashback.
Just Shoot Me flashback.
Not strings, Donnie think vacuum!
Cover blown, needs job.
nm
Cover blown, needs job.
Retired officer now walks
A beat in the mall.
A beat in the mall
Behind the abstract sculpture
caught with my pants down
Caught with my pants down,
it couldn’t get any worse
so I mooned the cop.
So, I mooned the cop.
She didn’t think it funny.
Need bail money!
Need bail money?
Come on down to Crazy Bobs!
Reasonable rates.
“Reasonable rates
if you’re looking for ‘dates’.” “YES!!!”
Call girl shows badge. “No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-!!!”
Call girl shows badge. “No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-!!!”
How could I have been so dumb?
That’s right, too much booze.
That’s right, too much booze.
But not quite enough weed, smack,
Shrooms, coke, pills, or glue.