(Mods, feel free to move if necessary.)
The nine-to-five grind
seems to last eternally;
thank Og for Straight Dope.
Questions answered,
debated, opined, and shared;
watch out for the Pit.
Who is this Cecil?
Some say he doesn’t exist.
Me: “He’s really Ed.”
Fighting ignorance
takes much longer than we thought;
next time, try Google.
Alas, new member
Time for initiation
Watch out for the goat
Hey there Hal Briston!
Don’t stand there looking sheepish
There’s work to be done
Goddamn piece of shit!
Cocksucking Motherfucker!
We’re off the the Pit
Time crawls across my
desk, but I must appear busy.
Woo Hoo! A flirt thread!
I burning your dog
1920s-style death rays
Og smash! Fucko off.
Cel’brity Death Pool
Make picks, one dies, you get points
Sickest, crassest thread.
Your thought provoking question
Was moved to IMHO
You want more? “Hi Opal.”
Look! “Is there a God?”
These are some strange Google ads.
“Hell does not exist.” 
My anger burns with
the fire of a millions suns:
“The” standard Pit rant
I wrote one about a dopefest. This is for andygirl and geobabe
Chubby Hubby, Bo-
vinity Divinity
and Chunky Monkey
New to the Dope.
Dare I post my secret thoughts?
Whats my user name?
Reading a deep thread -
Uh-oh, the boss is coming!
Better Alt-Tab fast.
Supper - what to fix?
I think I saw a thread in
Cafe Society.
Rule to remember:
Don’t post in the Pit unless
you can take the heat.
A slow afternoon;
Browsing the SDMB keeps me busy.
Ooh, kitty pictures!
Gerbils, said Cecil
Were nothing compared to the
Other shit up there
And then I learned that
The downy neck of a goose
Pre-dated T.P.
So back in the 80’s
I first got sucked into the
Adams Universe
It didn’t swallow.
I don’t know what a Haiku
is, perhaps I should post this
in General Questions instead.
First, five syllables;
After that comes seven more,
And five after that.
Authentic haiku
has more esoteric rules
but I don’t know them.
Not been here long time
Good way to avoid doing
What must be done (arrgh)
Many questions
Too few answers for me here
To the Dope-mobile!
Fighting Ignorance
Makes me feel like I have done
Something good today
If my haiku is
Not up to snuff, I beg you
Overlook the error
Not been here long time
Good way to avoid doing
What must be done (arrgh)
Many questions
Too few answers Googling
To the Dope-mobile!
Reading GD threads
Makes me feel like I have done
Something good today
If my haiku is
Not up to snuff, I beg you
Overlook the error
You only need to
hit “submit” once; the hampsters
can handle the rest.
Indyellen
Mistress of the haiku
You are the Straight Dope.
Cecil Adams?
Perfect master/man of myth?
Each path has some truth.
First time Threadspotted!
I feel all giddy inside.
Autographs to come.
My apoligies
the muse overpowered me
know better next time
Dope helps to ease pain
of foolish errors and flaws
with out prescription