Haikus for malfunctioning machines

Spam screams,
“Would you like a Russian wife?”
No way, I don’t speak her language.

“Warp drive is off-line, Captain!”
What now?
“I’m doing the best I can, Jim!”

Alero dings “Tire pressure low”
No! I checked it!
I’m right, not you!

Electricity dies at home,
No sounds from kitchen,
I alone live.

Dishwasher door stuck
it’s a usless piece of shit
I need a hammer

My low flow toilet:
flushing again and again
does not save water!