Han Solo vs. Starbuck

Han Solo --spice smuggler, hot pilot, ladies man, and a quick draw so fast Lucas had to change the movie.

Starbuck --fighter pilot extraorinaire, cosmic Casanova, and a gunman who’s blown up more shiny tin bastards than a misplaced fighter/bomber pilot taking out the Mardis Gras Parade by accident.

Four Events:
[ul]
[li]Seduce two women simultaneously, extra points if one is a feminist.[/li][li]An acrobatic stunt flying competition, culminating with a dive from Earth orbit, then swinging under the St. Louis Arch, and finally landing at a remote airfield to deliver a small package, all without being caught by the Air Force or Customs.[/li][li]Hi Opal![/li][li]A Shoot-out at the OK Corral, against Billy The Kid, the Younger Brothers, The James Gang, a platoon of Cobra Vipers (TV Version), and a bunch of Prohibition Era beer salesmen from Chicago, all of whom have been re-armed with 1920’s Style Death Rays, just to make the odds better.[/li][li]Finally, a race to the planet Mongo, to save Dale Arden from the lustful clutches of the Emperor Ming The Merciless. {Doncha just love the classics?}[/li][/ul]

Who is the 70’s Era Space Stud, and who gets left at the bar listening to William Shatner’s singing act?

Batman, if he’s prepared.

Sam L. Jackson… He’s a Bad MuthahF*ckah

:smiley:
real money on Solo, though… although Starbuck was a good copy…

Starbuck might win the first one, only because we’ve never seen Han in action with any woman other than Leia. Any of the other competitions, Han’ll win hands down.

Han’s coffee isn’t as good.

(sorry, someone had to make the joke! ;))

Hmm.

1 - Probably have to go to Starbuck, although the feminist may be swayed by Han’s rugged looks.

2 - Han. No question. Customs? Pfft. He’s a smuggler.

4 - Han, no question. Starbuck might be good in a fighter, buy Han can hold his own with a sidearm.

5 - Han, of course. He’s got the Falcon.

I’d say Han’s got 'ol Starbuck beat.

Yeah, Starbuck loses the shootout, but Apollo would be kickin some major league ass (see The Lost Warrior). Of course, Billybuck Dancer (The Best Rootin’ Tootin’ Shootin’ Gunslinger in the Whole Damned Galaxy) would take out Apollo, Starbuck, and Han simultaneously.

Feminist checking in.

  1. Han Solo, no question. He likes feisty. I’m feisty. He also knows quality when he sees it and can hold his own. As for the two at a time, I’d look at it this way. If either picks the feminist, it’s more evidence that some men like intelligent, independent women; if he picks the other one, he wasn’t worth it anyway.

  2. What bernse said – Han Solo. He’s a smuggler. Besides, given the *Falcon’*s track record, he could get away with claiming engine trouble. That’s a bit tougher with a bird which is supposed to be an expertly maintained military craft.

  3. Let Opal pick her own fellow! (Besides, isn’t that one overdone?)

  4. This was the closest one, but Han Solo is sneakier, more devious, and better at ducking/getting out of the line of fire.

  5. Han Solo rescues Dale Arden. Starbuck wins her. I’m picturing a team effort hear with a bit of back-and-forthing and competition between the two. Han Solo nearly makes it to Planet Mongo first, but has engine trouble, so Starbuck makes planetfall first. After that, a heroic race and chase, guards dropping like flies, including two dropped at one time when Chewbacca bashes their heads together. Dale Arden picks Starbuck whose uniform still doesn’t have a speck of dirt on it and whose hair is unmussed over the scruffy-looking Han Solo. Don’t feel sorry for him, though – the feminist tech who locked one contingent of guards in their barracks (me) likes scruffy-looking and gets at least a date with Solo.

Hey, a girl can dream!
CJ

Sorry, Starbuck, I have to go with Han Solo in at least three out of four.

Starbuck would probably have an edge in the seduction competition, though the feminist would probably give him a sound slap across the face. Is it just me, or did Starbuck spend just as much time striking out? Maybe I remember the show wrong.

The stunt-flying competition? Please. Han Solo flew without instruments through an asteroid field that the Galactic Empire was afraid to traverse with military craft.

The shootout? Solo again, sorry. He’s used to operating alone, or at best with one partner. He fights dirty. He stood his ground on the moon of Endor against a legion of the Emperor’s best troops. And in the Death Star, he single-handedly charged down a squad of stormtroopers.

The race to planet Mongo? Sorry, Han could get there in the Falcon, even with engine trouble, long before Starbuck putts into orbit on his invisible speederbike.

FISH

Aw, and I thought this thread was going to be about Moby Dick.

Next up: Chewbacca vs. Queequeg!

That’s better than me. I thought it would be about coffee:smack:.

Or Commander Adama vs. Captain Ahab. They’ve both got that “commander of the ship with an obsession to find the lost thirteenth colony ‘Earth’/Great White Whale” thing going.

Chewbacca v. Queequeg…

Queequeg. That harpoon would pierce Chewbacca’s neck before Chewbacca even knew what hit him. “I killee hairyee tingee.”

Of course, if by some miracle the Wookie survived the first hit, Dagoo and Tashtego would be obliged to step in.

I suspect the new Starbuck would be at a disadvantage in contest number 1. Well, unless the feminist were the right kind of feminist.

Well, then it should be the new Starbuck vs. James Kirk.

How about Han, Chewbacca, Luke, Leia, Obi Wan, C3PO and R2D2 in the Falcon vs Leela, Fry, Bender, Dr. Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, Hermes and Amy in the Galaxy Express ship?

-Hermes uses skills as a beurocrat to tie the Falcon up in customs impound lot indefinitely
-Leela kicks Han in the nuts when he trys to lay down the smoothness
-Bender bends 3PO
-R2s electro-shock only makes Bender stronger
-Obi Wan’s Jedi Mind Trick useless on Fry as he has no Alpha brain wave pattern
-Fry and Luke cut each others hands off and fight to a stalemate
-Amy and Leia get in girl fight. Leias “cinnabun muffins” provide excellent hand holds.
-Prof Farnsworth catches Chewie with snare made from “unbreakable filament”.

Seems pretty clear-cut to me.

First, Bender gets stoned on electricity, so R2 does time as a pusher.

Second, you don’t need unbreakable filament to catch Chewbacca, just a big Velcro mat.
Third, Futurama is too good for mere Star Wars associations.

Now THIS LINK, ON THE OTHER HAND…

I think it could revive the Trek franchise overnight!

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor *
[ul][li]A Shoot-out at the OK Corral, against Billy The Kid, the Younger Brothers, The James Gang, a platoon of Cobra Vipers (TV Version),[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

Well, that one won’t be too tough. COBRA agents never manage to hit anything they shoot at.

How about a platoon of COBRA soldiers vs Imperial Stormtroopers? That would take a long time.