So I bought a new car, and I am now giving my son the keys to my old truck.
My son is autistic. So he had to study really hard to take his test (which he passed). I’ve rode with him in the truck. He’s very cautious. So logically, I know he can do this.
Still though… EEEEEEEK!! I worry. :o
Is he given to panic attacks? It might be worthwhile to explain what happens after an accident, and that the only way to REALLY get into trouble is to panic and try to run away from it. I’ve seen that a couple times, always the autistic kid who would have been fine had he just stuck around.
Thank you I did. We even did a mock accident where he pretended to crash into me and we exchanged insurance information (I pretended to be pissed for authenticity! Lol). I also explained to him not to let the other guy trick you into NOT calling the police. So hopefully he’s good.
I never drove my mom or dad’s vehicles. Except when I got a learners permit and they rode with me
They helped me get my first used car after I passed my driver’s test.
Borrowing the keys to their cars? That wasn’t going to ever happen.
I had friends that drove the family station wagon. I guess they had cooler parents.
Role playing is critical. Did you add in traffic stop/talking to the police? Calling for help or what to do by the side of the road? How to change a tire?
I think the talking to the police one would be important. I could see my autistic kiddo either being flustered OR being completely fine emotionally but arguing forever until the officer got irritated. (No the light was not red because I was 12 feet behind the grey pickup and I was traveling at 35 mph. You are wrong. It was not red. Well, then, you can’t see what’s right in front of you. Something is wrong with your eyes.)
Congratulations on the milestone achieved!
My elder daughter just got her Learner’s Permit. I’m dreading the day when I “chuck her the keys.”
I’m sure she’ll be fine, but still …
Parenting is hard - it’s one dread after another until, for the rest of your life. Totally worth it though, of course.
Thanks. I’m actually not worried about my son talking to the police. He’s LOVED all things Law enforcement since he was 5. He’s typically an introvert, but if he stumbles across a police officer at the grocery store or where ever, he’ll try to engage them in conversation.
(It’s actually funny to watch. He start spouting off all the different types police cruisers, and then ask which one he likes best. The look on the police officers face is priceless: “How the heck does this kid know so much about police cruisers???”
God that’s hard, right? I did it three times. We live so far out, I worried every minute they were driving alone. I have had many wrecks so they all know the consequences of not watching for deer and crazy drunks and the log truck running you off the road. It takes a while but you get used to it. Good luck.
It’s great he is so functioning. I have a daughter somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, and I’ll be surprised if she can ever drive. I’ll be overjoyed if she can take mass transit by herself for that matter.
Good on ya! I know it’s tough but a great step for you both.
My daughter turns 33 today. She’s been driving for 17 years. I still get nervous when I give her my keys.
She’s literally driven cross country - from Orlando to Seattle and back - and I worry. She’s driven several times from Maryland to Florida, and I worry. She drives to my mother’s place - about 100 miles away, and I worry.
It’s a Mom thing. Shut up! She’ll see when her daughter starts to drive.
Congratulations and safe travels to your son.
And thanks to everyone for all the comments about role playing situations. My 17-year old son is on the spectrum and that will be helpful when he decides to get his license. So far he’s happy riding his bicycle, but I’m always worried about him. I’ll probably still be worried when he moves from the bike to a car. Why should I be any less anxious for the rest of my life than I have been for the last 17 years.
I second this. Very good advice given by my fellow Dopers. Thanks guys.
My kids were and are very responsible and I figured it would happen sometime, so why not now. None of them has ever had an accident and they’ve been driving for a total of 98 years.
Yeah - my Mom still worries about me too! When I moved across the country, she asked over and over if I was sure I wanted to drive…
“Ummm…you do realize I am 42 and an active duty member of the military? Like, I drive their trucks and handle weapons and everything…?”
She told me the same thing “Mom thing!”
I finished the head gasket repair on my '71 BMW and let my kid drive it for the first time last night.
I’d suggest installing some type of driving monitor.
MOTOsafety is one I’m familiar with. It alerts parents to hard braking, fast starts, location etc.
There are other companies offering similar services to parents.
https://www.amazon.com/MOTOsafety-Real-Time-Tracking-Monitoring-MPVAS1/dp/B006TZ8A5W
Fix it so it won’t shift out of second.