Unfortunately, there is no doubt a future crisis in store for the two of them when (d) he lets it slip that the only reason he’s with her is because she hired him and she overhears, or (e) she learns he was only dating her as the result of a [lost bet/dare] with his asshole friends on the water polo team. They will have a confrontation that ends in her running off in tears as he says “Karen, wait!” and then punches a locker. After a few days of the both of them mournfully staring out of windows while it’s raining, he’ll have a conversation in which his goofy friend with the moussed hair, turned up shirt collar, and piano key tie will get all serious on him all of a sudden with a long speech that ends with “go to her, man!” He will then make a grand public display of what she truly means to him, perhaps singing a surprise love ballad for her at halftime during the homecoming football game, but she will walk off as all eyes turn to her, breaking his heart. At the homecoming dance the next night, he’ll be smiling as his goofy friend pats him on the shoulder and bucks him up, a sadder but wiser man. That’s when she’ll walk in in a hot dress without her glasses on and wearing her hair down, looking totally hot as shit. Then they kiss and the whole place erupts in applause and enthusiastic cries of approval, and everyone goes nuts breakdancing.
The aforementioned couple were on their way to the airport-the girlfriend has an appointment with the beast plastic surgeon in Miami! Six months later, girl is now a supermodel!
Gee, my dad’s only heath kit was a clock. Though I do suspect the two bit whore kit would not have been recieved well by my mother. (In before 40!)
If the couple are adults, I vote that it’s a long-term romance where a combination of differing personal tastes between you and him, age, perhaps the effects of a bad grooming day have struck.
If the couple are teenagers, then my bet is that you have wandered onto a shoot for a romantic teen movie. It seems more probable. (And then everyone went nuts breakdancing!)
That’s it. When I write my memoirs, I’m putting this scene in at least three different points in my life. It’s about a hundred times better than anything that’s actually happened to me, so fuck it.
Look, Giraffe, I gotta talk to you. Seriously, for a change. You and I have been friends since, what, junior high? You’ve always been the cool, good looking one, I’ve always been the oddball jokester, but we’ve always been there for each other. You were the first kid in this upscale suburb to make friends with me when I was a skinny city kid who just moved here from the Bronx. You’ve always made my shows at the all ages open mike night at the comedy club, and I’ve never missed a water polo tournament, not even state. Hey, you’re the only one who’s never made fun of my piano key tie, and the only reason I wear it is so people can make fun of it! Right? Right? 'Course I’m right!
That’s why I gotta tell you, man to man: you’re too hard on yourself! You just don’t see yourself as the guy who gets the girl in the end and sees everyone go nuts breakdancing. You don’t think you’re that kinda guy. You are that kinda guy, pal, and that girl is out there waiting for you! Or guy, or whatever. I think you’re straight, but I can’t remember off the top of my head. But that’s not the point! The point is that you’re the guy it’s all gonna happen to! You’re the golden boy and you don’t even know it! It’s all gonna come together for you! You’re the guy it’s gonna happen to, if you let it! You’re the guy they’re gonna go nuts breakdancing for!
ok…a long time ago i was a good looking guy…popular too…under the cover of darkness i had sex with a unpopular girl who had a butter face. i never used a condom and she always wrapped her legs around me before i came trapping me in…i felt accepted and i enjoyed it…well guess what? yes she got pregnant and wanted me to marry her…i asked around and found out she tried this with different guys, but the end of the story is that it was me and she was right…it does not matter why or how but that I had to be the best father i could be…I do feel that she wanted me to get her pregnant because i was good looking and she was attracted and wanted marriage, but this does not matter…what matters is that i made a baby and after all these years i did not skirt the responsibility and was the best dad i could be…i did not get married and hold no blame for her…i was attracted to her sexually as well…but i’m a guy and i need to have sex…i think its in my programming…maybe i’m weak or just wired that way…i’m not blaming her…if i could go back in time i would get her pregnant again…but still not marry. well maybe marry just to see how it would have turned out…probably like 6 kids…but who knows…everyone wonders “what if i did something different”…
It’s not her fault she’s not beautiful. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a zombie to get a haircut or a manicure when all the clerks run screaming out the back door when she walks into a salon?
Did you get her pregnant the night after scoring the winning touchdown in the Big Game? Or was it after prom, where after being named Prom King you won the dance-off?
The dude just likes banging uggos and fatties. Nothing wrong with that. Unless you get them pregnant. Then you populate the world with more uggos and fatties and that is a capitol crime deserving of life in prison.