I just got a SMS from my brother that my aunt’s husband has died.
It was expected: he got diagnosed with liver cancer more than two years ago and had been on “palliative care” (read: we can’t cure him and any treatment we do hurts him more than the cancer, so have these happy pills and treat him nicely) since spring of last year. They lived in a small town on the beach, about 1h from Barcelona. My female cousin (my age) lives in Barcelona, 3 blocks away from the Grandparents from Hell; my male cousin (3 years younger) lives in the same town as my aunt. I’m not referring to her husband as my uncle because he always rejected that title; he insisted that he had married her, not her family, and that while he would tolerate our presence when we visited, he had no interest in us (I’m no social queen, but Jesus sometimes I wonder whether I have any not-fucked-up relatives).
Now I’m supposed to call my aunt, and I have no idea what to say
Nava, in English, “I’m sorry for your loss” works well because you don’t have to have known or liked the person to say that. Find a Spanish equivalent that focuses on her and not him.
Glad you’re doing OK, Bobbio.
Glad work is so much closer now, Shadow. Pretty kitty!
I slept in till 8:40. Prolly because I couldn’t fall asleep till 3 or so. Good thing I’m on vacation. The only caffeine I had yesterday was 2 squares of chocolate; can’t think of why I would have been so awake. Weather, maybe?
I said “got a SMS from an anonymous brother (1), calling to give you my condolencies - as we always say, we really need to start thinking up better excuses”. She said that right now, “and I know I can say this to you, mostly I’m thinking ‘well, it’s finally over.’” (Unlike Mom about Dad, my Aunt has never lied to herself about her husband’s prognosis) I said “ah yea, I’m familiar with that feeling” and offered her my house if there comes a point where she feels the need to get out of hers for a few days and go someplace where there will be company if she wants it and none if she isn’t feeling sociable; she said if she takes me up on it, it will be at a time when it isn’t so hot. I’m not sociable but I’m good at leaving people alone and I’m good at listening.
The Spanish traditional phrase is one I didn’t understand until Dad’s death: te acompaño en el sentimiento, I share your feelings.
I share your feelings, Bob. I remembered that story too.
(1) the SMS was unsigned, clearly from a brotherly unit (I think Littlebro, his SMS tend to be less curt that Middlebro’s, but their styles are very similar), and from a number my cell didn’t recognize.
After Bobbio’s puns maybe we should all go stealth???
Note to self ------- get all the tomahawks and war clubs out of the car ---- just in case.
You two work out what you can ------- my week is real flexible. I can do any day, just about anywhere, both at once or one at a time. (Good Lord it almost reads like I’m calling someone out for a fight! )
It breaks my heart any time it happens ----- and it happens too often to care givers. My prayers for you and all the folks out that way.
I went to a small Dopefest a few years ago (organized by a Doper who didn’t show up!) and I even organized a tiny one myself once, but from each I only remember the attendees who I kept in touch with: Quicksilver and Licentious Ectomorph. Of those two, I’m only still in touch with the latter – in fact, he and his partner have become good friends of mine. I’m too new to this MMP thang to have met any of y’all yet…but we’ll see what next week brings.
Wow, The Blue-Sighted Shadow, that is one cute kitten!
I’m meeting two friends for lunch in less than an hour, and I can’t wait! I woke up looking forward to it. I saw one of them a couple of weeks ago, but haven’t seen the other in a while. The only thing better for lunch than good food is good company!
Lunch was awesome! And afterwards I went two doors down and bought some yummies at Great Harvest: garlic dog bones for Bailey, and a cheese stick and two scones for me. The scones will be for later today/tonight, but the cheese stick might not make it past 1:30.
Thanks! It’s funny when friends who aren’t into jazz come to my shows, simply to show support, and wind up being surprised at how many songs they recognize. They’re called “standards” for a reason.