Happy Valentine's Day, how about a divorce?

I just heard the most incredible commercial on the radio. It was on a news radio AM station, here in Chicago.

She: But you SAID you’d divorce your wife this year!!!

He: But a divorce is so tedious and cumbersome and takes so much time… (wah wah).

Announcer: Looking forward to yet another Valentine’s Day in a marriage that’s not working any more? Did you know that if you can both agree on the terms, that you can obtain a divorce in Illinois in as little as ten days…?

It then goes on about how easy an uncontested divorce is, how cheap and simple it can be, and heck, it’s VALENTINE’S DAY, treat yourself!

Ok, that last part is implied.


I said… :eek:
It might be a milestone really, a divorce lawyer advertising at Valentine’s Day.


And yet another advertising opportunity is taken up. Just like that. “It’s Valentine’s Day – treat yourself”? Le sigh.

But, but, but… it’s not like the reasons that cowturd in the ad gives for not divorcing the wife are the ones he actually has.

The State of Illinois can’t legislate pricks out of existence.

Her: “So what did you get me for Valentine’s Day this year?”

Him: “I decided to get you something you’ve always wanted…”

Her: “You mean a divorce?!?”

Him: “No, I didn’t want to spend that much on you.”

Her mom: “He went to Jared!”

Holy crap, MBG, I feared for a moment you were talking about *your *marriage. I’m glad to hear it was just a silly ad!

Um … I assume you mean guys who act bad, right? 'Cuz that other meaning … well, that would just be bad for some of us. I couldn’t ever go to Chicago again.

Thanks but she’ll never divorce me. One day, I’ll just disappear from here, and you’ll read about pieces of an old bald guy washing up in the Fox River…


Nah, just another day in the sewer. Lawyers who need to advertise on radio and the back of buses to get business are just slightly more complex organisms than Cyanobacteria and less pleasant to touch.

Besides, what could be a more romantic present than your married lover getting a divorce so he can marry you? And it’s the gift that keeps on giving; when your matrimony goes sour and he starts sleeping with someone else, you’ll get the gift again! It’s like two presents for the price of one!

“There is no winning! Only degrees of losing!” – Gavin D’Amato, The War of the Roses


Heh. Was just reminsicing on another board that the nearest I got to a Valentine’s card from a secret admirer was the one an SO had delivered to me intending that I should think it was. See, she was looking to break it off but didn’t want to actually go ahead and do it (odd, it would have made around the eighth time and she’d managed it OK before), so she hoped I’d end up chatting up lots of women while trying to find out who’d sent it to me. No, I don’t quite understand it either. :confused:

Fortunately I managed to negotiate the delicate process of finding out if my female boss had suddenly developed a hitherto unheralded interest in me with a minimum of embarrassment to all, and I got surprisingly little ribbing over the notice I tacked up in the lift, so it could have been a lot worse all round.