Haunted by the Colonel

The BBQ Pit
1

There are three ways to get from home to work, and vice versa.

Route number one takes me past Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins.

Route number two takes me past KFC.

Route number three takes me past a Harley Davidson dealership and they’re about to open a Popeye’s Fried Chicken Franchise there, too.

I’m a healthy guy. Part of that though was living out in the sticks where you had to go out of your way to find junk food.

Now I’m suffering temptation.

I love the Colonel’s four piece extra crispy family meal with two sides and biscuits. Sometimes on the way home, I’ll get it.

Have you ever tried to go for a 5-7 mile run with four pieces of KFC, 2 biscuits, mashed potatos with gravy and corn in your stomach?

Sometimes I find myself taking the Dunkin’ Donuts route on the way to work and the KFC one on the way home. That’s a bad day.

I think the thing to do is to overindulge as much as possible. There was this time when a new Chinese restaurant opened that had great General Tso’s chicken. I had that every day for lunch for about 6 months before I had complete overload, and now I have no desire for it at all.

What if it takes 6 months of KFC DD every day?

Can you live that long on that stuff?

And what about Popeye’s? I have a really weak spot for that stuff. It’s so good. Biscuits and spice. Oh man. And, the Harley dealership. I can’t afford to die, but with that Harley dealership there how long will I be able to drive by it without succumbing to a hog?

I guess the only high note is that all three routes take you to the main road to my house, and there’s a funeral parlor on that.

2

The key is not to eat enough KFC over a 6 month period that you can’t stand it anymore, but to eat enough KFC over a 6 hour period that you can’t stand it anymore.

Or just eat only one 4 piece meal (complete with sides and biscuits), but only after running it through the food processor for a couple minutes.

3

Damn it, Scylla, now I have to phone my man and get him to call by KFC on his way home.

4

When I was pregnant last winter I drove for over an hour and a half one time to get a three-piece original recipie meal with double-mashed potatos and a buttermilk biscuit.

And Yes, it was worth it.

bella

5

::Clearing tortilla mudge from molars with tongue::

Just finished one of those Twister deals.

No regrets, man, no regrets.

Then again, I wouldn’t dream of running 5-7 miles, even if I were being chased by the dead Colonel himself.

6

“Have you ever tried to go for a 5-7 mile run with four pieces of KFC, 2 biscuits, mashed potatos with gravy and corn in your stomach?”

No, but I have successfully sat on my couch after eating 8 pieces of extra crispy, 3/4 of a pint of mashed potatos and gravy, 2 biscuits and the whole pint of cole slaw.

Damn, it made the remote really heavy.

7

By the way Scylla, look at the bright side… now you get to look forward to an extra crispy dump.

8

I coulda sworn this thread was going to involve nightmares featuring Colonel Klink.

9

I loved KFC when I was a kid (and still an omnivore), so these days I’ll understand my husband’s occasional cravings for the stuff. Yet - in line with someone’s recent thread in the Pit about crappy service at a KFC - the few times we’ve gone to the one closest to us, the service has been really, really poor. The workers stand around in back and chitchat until they feel up to coming out to helping us, then take forever to put together the order from the already-prepared food that’s ready. So we rarely go as a result. I guess you aren’t so “lucky” though.

10

The correct phrasing of this question is, “Can you live that wide on that stuff?” Wording-precision is important.

11

Thats funny, cause when I saw the thread title, all i could think of was the Ghost of Colonel Hogen, back from the grave to avenge his murder! His tortured soul cannot find peace (or should it be “piece” in this case?) until the henious crime perpetrated againt him is solved and the killer brought to justice! I thought maybe he was going to channel thru Scylla, prowling the home-made porno underworld on a vengful search…

(man, i need to lay off the Nyqil and beer!)

“I know nuszthing!”

12

Anyone else here think the Animated Colonel Sanders and the Animated Orville Reddinbocker hang out together?

13

See I was pictuing Colonel Sanders returning from the grave with Joe McCarthy.

Don’t ask

14

So you’re saying that KFC is made with 11 secret herbs and commies?

15

I, myself, was picturing the OP being chased by a ghostly, monocled German officer with a riding crop.

[Klink voice]

Scyllllllaaaaaaahh

[/Klink voice]

16

Stuart Mackenzie: Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee BEADY eyes! and that smug look on his face, “Oh! You’re gonna buy my chicken, OHHH!”
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate “The Colonel”?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!

17

MSG= Malicious Stimulator of Gluttony

18

And how long will it be until they are joined by the Animated Dave Thomas?

What? Of course not.

Everyone knows that the coleslaw is better than the corn.

19

Or a misplaced A-Team appreciation thread.

20

The only reason you’re haunted by the Colonel is because you don’t know who Sir Issac Newton is.