Have Ukulele Ike Pee on a Celebrity For You!

In one thread, Ike has admitted to “accidentally” peeing on Mr. T (or did he tea on Mr. Pee?). Then Rocketeer, in another thread, requested that someone pee on Bob Saget’s leg for him. I of course volunteered Ike’s services.

Then it occured to me—as a family man with a wife, kiddies and mortgage to support, Ukulele Ike could no doubt use a second income. You know, “peelance” work. So how’s about if we pay him a set rate—I dunno, fifty bucks?—to pee on celebrities? Of course, we would have to pay for transportation, bail, hospital bills, etc., too.

So, who would YOU like Ike to pee on for you?

Since I just renewed my angst about Keanu Reeves’ fame, I’ll pay 50 bucks for Ike to pee on him. But the pee has to land on Keanu’s upper trousers, making it look like he peed his pants! Hee hee!

Jennifer Lopez. But if you try to make me pay for it, I’ll deny all knowledge. And then I’d pee on you. (What can I say? I’m a very poor student, $50 is like half my budget for the rest of the month. Come to think of it, I’ll volunteer to pee on any European celebrities. For a fee, of course.)

Nothing against UI, but I’m not going to spend the money to buy him that much beer.

I’ll pay $75 bucks! For that he’s got to pee on Jack T Chick while yelling “I annoint thee with my holy water! Accept my flesh and truly be saved.”

Dear Mr. Ike,

I am offering you One Hundred Buckos Americanos. In return, you shall pee on the head of Ringo Star whilst exclaiming: “You fuckin’ hack, you only made the Big League because you had the right friends in high school! Take THIS, you third-rate Porn Flick Sound Track Percussionist!”

Could you pull that off?

Sincerely,
Coldfire

That crazy Ike! He’d be a laff riot at the Oscars, wouldn’t he?

I will gladly pay $100–and supply the beer–if he’d piss like a racehorse on Martha Stewart.

It’s a good thing.

Veb

Who better to nominate than the original whiz kid.

Bill Gates

Make him into the true “whiz” kid.
::Thanks Ike in advance::

Ike, would you please piss on Adam Sandler’s head for me? I’d gladly pay the $50. If you could video-record it for me, I’d be ever so thankful. I could make an endless loop of that scene and watch it over and over and over and over…

That would be pure joy :smiley:

(If I could afford it, I would have you piss on him for every movie he’s ever made, plus every time I’ve had to listen to some idiot describe a scene from one of his films, and then insist that it’s funny. I can’t stand that guy!)

Pauly Shore! I’ll pay almost any price you ask.

Please pee on Kathie Lee Gifford, Ike. Preferably while she’s singing. I don’t have any money, but I’ll offer you all of the oreos in my lunch and half of my capri sun.

If The Kath is too hard to get to, I’ll accept Celine Dion in a pinch.

Ike, please pee on Brad Pitt for me. I’d gladly pay $50 to see his pretty-boy, look-at-me-I’m-too-sexy-for-this-universe attitude get dampened for a moment.

If you manage to get some whiz on his pet monkey Jennifer Aniston, I’ll buy you a pitcher next time I’m in New York.

Thanks!

Marshall Mathers, s’il vous plait?

Ike,
I’ll buy you a case of you favorite brew and give you ten crispy, fresh from the mint ten dollar bills if you will turn your firehose on Celine Dion. OF course the force of your urine would probably throw her bony ass through a wall but I can dream:)
Hopefully you’ll hit her just as she’s whcking herself in the chest…

I’ll give you my college tuition.

Now go pee on anyone who’s been on a reality-based TV show.

Another thread where Eve Golden showers attention on Ukulele Ike.

SPBLPRBRTBRTBRTB

Wiseass! :smiley:

wipes milk from monitor

So, where is the Ukester anyway?

Oh. Oh god. Oh, what a glorious day it is for me!

The Tilly sisters. Jennifer, Meg and any other whey-faced-reed-voiced-discredit-to-the-SAG-still-have-to-get-their-mom-to-tie-their-
shoes-for-them-50-cent-Betty-Boop-ripoff siblings or offspring they might have.

Andie-whey-faced-southern-fried-voiced-so-discrediting-to-the-SAG-that-I-would-
rather-see-a-blank-screen-but-barring-that-will-pound-sand-into-my-eyes-rather-than-
watch-her-try-to-act-her-momma-doesn’t-even-like-her-enough-to-tie-her-shoes-for-her-
but-my-ain’t-her-hair-purty-McDowell

If you can manage to squeeze Vonda Shepard in there somewhere, I’ll get you a truck of whatever beer you like best.

Two trucks. Having this would make life worth living.

I fixed these long words a bit so people with 23" monitors of less can read them as well :wink: - Coldfire

[Edited by Coldfire on 03-02-2001 at 07:19 AM]

Knowing Ike’s political proclivities I believe I can keep my $50. My vote goes to the late Ronald Reagan.

“Another thread where Eve GOLDEN SHOWERS attention on Ukulele Ike.”

—Very funny, Nemo . . .

Gosh, we have a lot of work lined up for Ike, I wonder where he IS? At least if he gets arrested, he’ll be tried by a jury of his peers . . .