I had a boyfriend in high school who was significantly less attractive than me, and I think I mostly dated him because I had really low self esteem (re: my looks) and liked the attention he gave me. It was a confidence boost having a boyfriend who was so intensely attracted to me, but I look back and realize I could have cut the relationship off earlier and still benefited from the boost in self-confidence. I do, however, look at him now and pictures of him then and wonder what I was thinking beyond feeling like I wasn’t worthy of a boyfriend who treated me better and was a little better looking.
I’m currently at the same level of attractiveness as my husband, who is pretty darned hot.
I’ve dated both. Most of the good-looking guys had nothing else going for them at all, and their looks were good for impressing other people, but not so important to me.
I’ve been with three guys that I think could be fairly classified as butt-ugly, but I thought they were smart and fun.
In the case of the less-attractive-than-I boyfriend, looks didn’t play a part in the breakup. Clinginess, jealousy, and cheating did. (For someone with not much going on in the looks department, this guy got a lot of action…and was still almost violently jealous when he wrongly accused me of cheating. But I digress)
The very beautiful man I dated had a very beautiful man’s ego as well. I can’t say if my (lack of) looks played a part in the break-up, because he was the one who chose to end things with me.
My husband and I are fairly evenly matched and, in fact, kind of look a lot alike.
All three of my long term SOs (including my current one, the wife) are hotties. I’m pretty sure I’ve never dated anyone who wasn’t noticeably better looking than me. Or slept with anyone who wasn’t for that matter.
Some years ago, I dated an honest-to-gosh model, someone who later moved to L.A. and got a guest role on an episode of a TV sitcom where the premise of the role was that she was a hot girl.
And some years ago I dated a girl who was, by any stretch of the imagination, not conventionally attractive.
I don’t think looks were a direct factor in either breakup. In the hottie’s case, though, I think it’s fair to say that people had been telling her she was gorgeous since she was nine, and it created a certain sense of entitlement in her thinking that I grew to dislike. And while she was pleasant and warm, she was not an intellectual superstar. I have to admit that I probably dated her longer than I would have otherwise, just because of the juvenile thrill from going to a party or something with her as my date. But that’s not exactly the basis for an on-going relationship.
I think when my husband and I started dating, this was a big part of the attraction for him. He thinks I’m funny. Our sense of humor doesn’t always mesh, but I can just about always make him laugh.
I’m like jimm, I don’t have a good sense of my level of attractiveness. I don’t think I repel people, for sure, but I can’t tell if I’m in the same ‘league’ with any of my former boyfriends or husbands. (That makes me laugh, like I’m Zsa Zsa Gabor or something.)
Anyway, I think they’ve all been way more handsome than I am objectively beautiful.
I’m also not very good at guaging how attractive I am. The most attractive guy I ever dated was my husband, and he thinks I’m more attractive than he is, so attractiveness hasn’t really been an issue. The guy I dated before him was not so much more attractive than me as more striking. His looks weren’t the issue with our relationship. The issue was that he was a dick. I’d date him again if I had it to do over (he didn’t start out being a dick), but I’d have gotten out of the relationship much faster and wouldn’t have spent as much time agonizing over it.
I dated/friends-with-benefitsed a guy for a long time who was way, WAY out of my league looks-wise. We’re still good friends. He’s still super-hot. (Seriously, he’s a 10 and I’m, I don’t know, maybe a 7.)
I was going to say no, as generally we have all been around the same level of attractiveness, but then I saw the “friends-with-benefits”.
Without getting into too much detail, my friends with benefits guy was like a Greek god. Mmm. And he made me feel like a goddess, too, so sexy and gorgeous and a great guy.
Oh, there were more questions. No, the attractiveness was not a factor in the ‘break-up’ - we only had a few months where we were in the same town. I would do it again if I were single. And the only regrets are kinda personal but suffice it to say I wish I had been less shy and less…hesitant.
I dated some ugly guys by normal standards. Ugly has never been an issue for me, but unkempt has been. I did find a pic of my ex-husband a couple of months ago and cringe, however. And then when the ex’s sexual interest in me waned, I really started to get down on my looks - because if HE didn’t think I was hot . . .
I got over that
My current boyfriend makes my heart sing, he’s so pretty to me. Sometimes, I get a little worried that he will eventually figure out how attractive he is to our peer group - and want someone else. But really, I’m comfortable with who I am and I think that makes me more attractive - and, humbly, I have enough hot moments vs. not moments that I think we balance out okay.
I couldn’t date someone Brad Pitt pretty, though. First because he’s not my type, and second because that type of pretty attracts too many flies to my neck of the woods.
About a year ago, I was “seeing” (infer what you will) a guy that was not only smokin’ hot but 15 years younger than I. Still not sure what he saw in me…
But I digress)
