Mine is always off by one. My own sign will be wrong, but the sign right above will be eerily accurate. (You will find a penny if you look under your sofa seat cushions. How do they do that! 
)
Sure. They’re always right on. Aside from the planet transition and the moon in Uranus mumbo-jumbo, the rest is stuff that happens to everyone, everyday, forever.
“The sun will rise! Unless, there is some rain. Then take an umbrella. Then! The sun will set! There will be a full moon! The tides will ebb and flow. You will receive a phonecall! The caller will have important news!”
Ah, yes. And then the phone does ring. And the important news is the great deal I will get on window glazing. Cool.
Well, okay, fine, stop twisting my arm. There was one damn time, my local paper back home had said something about “Be careful driving today, and watch out for deer in the road.” Driving a friend home that night - we hit a deer. No shit.
However, it was 2am, and the horoscope was for the day before. So neener neener on you, horoscope! 
I came in to say what Anastasaeon said. They seem ‘true’ 99% of the time because they consist of the most generic words and ideas possible. They say, basically that ‘Your day will be filled with events and situations’* in as many different ways as possible, then, lo and behold - people’s days ARE filled with events and situation! Whoah! Who knew? :eek: :rolleyes:
Hence you get gullible people, who really have that sort of hole to fill in their lives, thinking ‘Wow! It was totally right! I should pay attention to this stuff! Maybe even pay money to hear it!’
*I can’t remember where I first heard this impression of an astrological foretelling, but it’s perfect.
Ahaha. I haven’t read my horoscope in like 20 years, but I always read my fortune cookies. The hubby and I went out for Chinese food on Sunday. My fortune read “Long lost friends will return to you soon.” Or something like that. Yesterday I got a call from my best friend/ex-coworker from PA saying she’ll be in SF on business next week and will be free Friday night! I haven’t seen her since my wedding almost 3 years ago.
oooooOOOooohhh.
On her wedding day, my mom got a horoscope to the effect of “You’re about to experience a major event that will change your life for the better.”
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.
My wife, my three year old daughter and I went out to a Chinese Buffet this New Year’s Eve. At the end of the meal, the waitress gave us a plate of three fortune cookies and nodded at me in a weird way. I was careful to keep them in order and give them to the person closest to each one.
I had been having problems with depression and apathy but I had just started a new job and wanted to do well:
Mine said: “Displays of Enthusiasm are the keys to your success”. I have made that a priority and recently got told at work that they were impressed with my enthusiasm.
My two year old daughter opened hers:
“Having fun should be your top priority”.
My wife opened hers:
“Expect a new addition in your life”
She took a pregnancy test when we got home that night. It was positive. 100% true story.
The day I evacuated from Hurricane Katrina, I bought a Times-Picayune and didn’t get a chance to read my horoscope until a few days later. That day I’d called and text-messaged everyone I could during my long hard slog up US-61 to where I eventually stopped in Mississippi. My horoscope said:
“… Make calls to those at a distance. You will need to connect more often. In the p.m., enjoy being a little lazy. You have pushed yourself beyond the call of duty.”
I like the ones that say “You will soon have a new love in your life.” I always threaten my SO with them. “Look, see, the horoscope said so! Pack your bags, baby!”
A fortune cookie got your wife pregnant? In Texas, that would be a shootin offence!
I don’t remember what it said, exactly, but the one I had on the day we closed on our house was spot-on.
Four or five years ago I read one in a book. It was one of those books that’s supposed to tell you everything about you done day by day. The one for me was very close on some things and it was strange. For one it said you look best in brown. Ok I think I do, the only pair of slacks I have is brown, but big deal. The next two were spot on though and that’s what made it strange. It said your instrument is a trombone, and I’ve been playing for twenty years. For exercise it said you swim, and that’s the only form of exercise I get. I wish I could remember the book so I could go back and see what else it said.
I had a chinese horescope years ago that fit me to a T. For laughs I printed it and the others out and took it to the bar with me that night and 5 out 5 friends picked the one that was about me.
My horoscopes on http://astrology.keen.com always feel accurate.
I don’t believe them, but they kind of make me go “Huh.” In an amused way.
If you’re talking about the general ones from the paper that cover a months worth of birthdays at a time, no. As far as personal ones, yes.
Russell
Fortune cookies in 1984 (I only had three that year, BTW).
- Your new business venture will be successful.
Received at a dinner given by a literary agent. He asked to see my novel, then agreed to represent me.
- Soon you’ll be sitting on top of the world
I sold my novel. Four days later, my daughter was born.
- You’ll never have to worry about a steady income.
Turned out to be right: when I lost my job, freelancing opportunities dropped into my lap. Another time I was fired and found a new and better job within a month.