Only in comic books.
Have you ever sketched, drawn or painted a self-portrait?
Yes. I had finished reading a book called “Drawing On the Right Side of the Brain”, and did a self-portrait using a purple marker. I cheated, however, and did the portrait with me wearing a pair of sunglasses.
Have you ever not had enough money at a toll booth?
Yes, kind of. Years and years ago, before E-Z Pass, I thought I had enough change to go through one of those unstaffed toll booths where coins get thrown in a metal basket and fall into a slot. I must have mistaken a nickel for a quarter or something and had to wait, cringing, with cars honking behind me, until an employee came and gave me change for a dollar bill.
Have you ever won a trivia contest?
Yes, several times. It gives the old ego a boost, it does.
Have you ever pretended to know a foreign language you didn’t actually know?
No. Sometimes I struggle with English.
HYE given someone wrong directions?
Yes, I did it on purpose because I decided mid meeting I didn’t want a skeevy looking guy come to my house to do a job, after all.
HYE watched a horror flick and then were too afraid to sleep that night?
Yes, but “almost too afraid” rather than too afraid to sleep at all. It was a while back and I don’t remember the film.
And after seeing Schindler’s List I was too sad and afraid to sleep for over an hour and then when I did fall asleep I had nightmares.
Have you ever flown in a helicopter? (I haven’t, is there more of a sensation of flying compared to a commercial plane flight?)
No, but I once flew on a hovercraft, which my older brother made. He towed me around the yard. It wasn’t powerful enough to carry anyone heavier.
Have you ever marched in a parade without playing an instrument?
Yes, at least 4 times. My kids’ schools always marched in our local St Patrick’s Day parade, and parents were invited to march behind them. One cold and rainy parade day they marched playing their instruments, and (as you can imagine) hearing “The Minstrel Boy” played unsteadily by young kids gets really old after the first minute.
Have you ever been to Bermuda?
Definitely not, nor do I ever plan to…
Have you ever dissected a grasshopper?
Maybe. Was he a friend of yours?
Have you ever been totally honest with others about the drugs you took?
Yes, it’s not been much. So not hard to do.
As a young person did you ever participate in a rebellion or protest about injustice of something or other?
I participated in the Boston protests against the protests about school desegregation.
Did you ever break up with a person about their racist/homophobic/religious prejudices?
Not me. But I was broken up with because I smoked cigarettes, but I thing mainly because I wasn’t Jewish.
Didja ever observe a crime and too afraid to speak up?
I’ve certainly seen a few “dine and dashes” at the local sports bar. Technically, it’s theft. Usually, I don’t know about them until the barman starts running, and when he comes back, asks me, “Spoons, did you see that guy?” I’m not afraid to speak up; it’s just that I don’t see what’s happening until after it takes place.
Have you ever made a trip to the supermarket for one single item?
Never. I hate shopping and would go hungry before buying one thing.
Ever complain about a store cashier?
No, but I’ve seen a grocery cashier fired while dealing with the customer immediately ahead of me.
Have you ever sat down and missed the chair?
Yes (Well, technically, it was a footstool, so I didn’t fall that far.)
Have you ever walked to a public library?
Yes, many times. Somehow, and unintentionally, I always managed to find a place to live that was within a five or ten minute walk of a public library. It made no sense to drive such a short distance.
Have you ever borrowed something other than books from a public library?
Yep. CD’s, DVD’s and magazines. Maybe other stuff I’ve fogotten.
Have you ever used Inter-Library Loan?