So, they’re going to move the whole family somewhere in the US. We don’t know where, and we don’t know when…just that it will be soon. I have to continue to live with them because I don’t have any economic means, nor do I have family/friends who I can stay with. Within like 6 months from now I have to be out and away from them and on my own and I am terrified, because a) the only time in my life I had my own apt was when I was 19 and had help and support, and b) because that experience was by my own choice. I was not being thrown out like I am now and I also was not coming out of a marriage, overseas, and losing 2 stepkids.
Kiddo, you need to get your shit together. I can’t imagine that staying with them for 6 months is going to do you anything but more harm. You said (in the other thread) that your father is in MN. Could you go and stay with him? Because if that’s possible, choose the nearest base to your dad, have the military ship you there and have your dad pick you up and take you home. From your dad’s house, immediately find a mental-health professional and get into some serious therapy. This is more important than finding a job, or an apartment or anything else. You need to start figuring out why you make such terrible choices, honey. Your husband will not help you. In fact, I think it’s obvious that he’s poison to you. I appreciate that you love his children, but, in your condition you are probably doing them more harm than good.
Get a job, save some money, and talk to a financial person about setting up a budget. You can do this. If you need to go on public aid, do it. Do what you have to do. Show that guy that you don’t need him. You’ll be fine. Terrified is OK, as long as it doesn’t paralyze you. It’s going to make you stronger. Trust me.