How’re you hanging in there, Rosebud? Did you get out of the house today?
Here’s another hug, 'cuz I’m sure you still need one…
{{{Rosebud}}}
Hey Rosebud,
If you want to hang out with someone there are plenty of NYC dopers around (like me) who would love help you kill some time.
E-mail me if you want to see a flick or anything.
I did get out of the house, Shayna. Did a lot of walking, sat on a bench in Lincoln Center for a while just thinking. Being out definitely helped.
Diane, I agree about the crying being cleansing thing. What seems to be happening is that I start crying when I’m talking to people about it, and then my “must not cry in front of people” reflex kicks in and I just about choke to death. I’ve already had one friend offer to get me “good and wasted,” but like you said, just me, a pal, and lots of alcohol isn’t really the best idea right now. If you were here, I’d love to stay out until 3am with you-- the long distance offer is appreciated, believe me.
And Zebra, thanks for the offer… I’ll keep it in mind although at the moment I don’t feel much like socializing, beyond talking to friends both on and off board now and then.
I’m at work right now (he works here, our mutual friends all work here, his mother works here) so I can’t respond to each and every one of your right now, but your hugs and good thoughts are helping.
I don’t know what your schedule or situation is, but it is almost time for the “games to begin” (and I don’t mean the SLC Winter Olympics). Me and a group of girlfriends (we’ve all been best friends since elementary) are getting ready for yet another all-girl slumber party at Traci’s house. She lives over the border in a small but rowdy Wyoming town. Cowboy bars, lottsa beer, and an over abundance of gorgeous cowboys in tight Wranglers - :::Pant Pant::: - that’ll make you feel better! 
Seriously, if you feel like you need to just get away for a few days, you are more than welcome to join us. It would be a lot of fun and hopefully take your mind off things.
Damn, that is rough that you have to see not only him, but friends and his mother at work! Hang in there. {{{Rosebud}}}
Ironically, theotherangel and I were sitting on a bench in Lincoln Center yesterday, as well.
In any event, it’s difficult to add anything more to the great advice that people have been giving you so far. Let me add my voice, then, to the chorus of people offering support. If you take these things like I do, it can be hard to imagine getting past the way you feel now. Once the numbness goes, it’s easy to see things as insurmountable. Keep the faith, though… hold tight to the knowledge that you will be able to move on.
I’ve always thought of the break-up recovery process as the slow emotional realization of what you know intellectually: that you will be “over” the other person at some point.
Take heart… it will get better.
Hey Rosebud,
Just FTR I am married and I’m not hitting on you. I just happen to go to the movies a lot (cause I get in free) so if you ever feel like socializing just let me know.
What time where you there, Cerowyn? I was by the (empty) pool in front of the theater where “Contact” is playing, from maybe 2:45-ish 'til about 4:00pm. I kind of wished I had brought a book but then again I think just having that quiet time to myself, with no distractions, was somehow useful.
Zebra, I knew you weren’t hitting on me-- in fact I remember you mentioning your wife at the January Dopefest in NYC. I just meant I’m not feeling much like doing anything social right now, although my best friend and a mutual good friend of ours are urging me to join them for dinner tomorrow. I think I probably will. The mutual pal has been through something very similar within the last year and it would be nice to chat.
Diane, I don’t think I’m gonna make it to Wyoming but once again your offer has made me smile. I’m actually considering a cheap solo vacation somewhere, though simply visiting family may have to suffice.
I’m probably starting to sound like a bad awards acceptance speech but I just wanted you all to know that I really, really appreciate your responses. Being able to discuss this on the board really bridges that gap between wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to tell the story 17 times. My closest friends IRL know, too, and the combination seems to be helping. Thanks.
** TP ** can attest to the fact that I’ve been there, done that before. I’m glad to see that you got out and had some introspective time. That’s important at this stage of the game. Another important strategy is to think of the ways the relationship made you better. That way, you don’t look back and say, “I wasted all that time with that relationship.” Even if you just learned something about yourself, it’s not time wasted. Did that make any sense at all???
I’d offer my services for talking, but I’m too far away (Florida). If you need someone to talk to, I highly recommend ** TruePisces **. She just seems to know just the right thing to say.
I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
We were there from about 4:30 until about 5:20, killing time until it was, uh, time to go and catch our plane. Not that you would have known us, or we you, but perhaps it was a mystical-Doper-connection that made us go there… just gotta get the kinks out so that it works better.
Peace…
“It seems to me that right now he’s got some personal issues that make him incabable of being in a healthy relationship - because he apparently isn’t emotionally healthy himself.”
I have to disagree with you on that point. Getting out of a relationship that is not emotionally healthy is an emotionally healthy thing to do.
Must be a young chap, in that case they usually change their minds later.